Think I've lost my pillion

[Toecutter]

Just found out this morning that the former principal (recently promoted to district office) at the school where Eve works is in critical condition at a Modesto hospital with a brain injury, broken jaw, broken ribs and various other injuries.

According to the story, he and his son were riding their twin KTM 950's near Mono Lake when he struck a deer at 30 mph, according to the GPS unit info (not sure how they figured that out).

I don't have many more details yet, stuck at work until Wednesday morning, but I'll post more info as it becomes available.

Bottom line is, Eve has proclaimed that she's too scared to enjoy riding any more and she's all but done.

X1000

I think the dark forces have conspired to exploit her fears and drive a wedge between us. This one hit just too close to home without involving me directly. I'm not even the one scaring her (mostly), but I'm the one who's gonna be paying the price.

A little help here? I'm losin' the argument....

On the bright side, I had a real nice ride yesterday. 600 miles round trip through two states and two Sierra mountain passes to have lunch with Dad, then a visit with Skyway in Sonora before heading home. I was solo, as Eve wasn't up for a 600 mile day trip (Can't fault her for that. We did San Francisco the day before in the cage). Unfortunately, the empty rear seat may be all my future holds. Did I mention I'm

 

[radman]

Mine quit long ago after a MSF crunch. No fun for her if fear is a constant companion-give it a rest before you're not just riding single.

 

[exskibum]

Wow -- sorry to hear that. I agree with rad, though. If she's feeling fear, no amount of talking is going to change that, and she may spend time on the back of your motorcycle paying attention to every way she can validate that fear, instead of enjoying the ride.

 

[KSFJR]

I'm sorry about your change in status but I've got to agree with the "Rad". She will hopefully come around in her own time. Years ago I had a Hobie Cat sailboat and the gal that I was seeing was terrified of the water but she finally gave it a try and slowly started to have fun.

Chester

 

[FJRMGM]

mine quite riding years ago because she was afraid we'd both be killed and leave our daughter alone. Sheeeeeesh..

So, we no longer do any dangerous activities like ride in a car, plane or motorcycle or take a shower together, let alone sex.

Hell, we might as well get divorced. Wait a minute - we are.

Nevermind..

 

[Groo]

Get her into the car with Thelma Lou... maybe she'll find inspiration amongst the crowd at Reno...

 

[Mike-H]

Toe you could be screwed.... I've seen it go both ways over the last....can't remember how many years...but if you can get her to come like Groo says.... maybe the other SO's could help calm her fears if nothing else.....good luck amigo.....

 

[JimLor]

Bob - just don't push her. She'll decide whether she'll ride with you again or not in her own sweet time. I do my best not to push Lorie about riding, she's still ok one day and nervous another.

 

[twowheelnut]

Get her into the car with Thelma Lou... maybe she'll find inspiration amongst the crowd at Reno...

That'd be great, 'cept I recall T & E are driving up making this some sort of honeymoon or sumpin'... If not, Eve is most welcome to ride shotgun with Mrs. Nut. Course, Bob and I will no doubt be in big trouble for sumpin' when they arrive...

 

[ionbeam]

Often times volcanoes are preceded by tremors. Wasn't your pillion just recently saying that the pain of riding was getting to be too much?

Eve has proclaimed that she's too scared to enjoy riding any more and she's all but done

Don't pick at it while it is still sore, give her time to come to grips with it. Rather than make it a topic for a ride or not to ride discussion; once she has a bit to sort things out; ask her how she feels about what happend to her former principal. Ask her why some elements of the accident bother her. Ask her what she thinks. Listen.

 

[skyway]

Look on the bright side Bob, a spot has just opened up for a spiffy new fuel cell.

J/K - For now I would drop the argument as advised and maybe even do a little (and mean little) less riding for a while and enjoy some other past times together to take Eve's mind off the worries of 2 wheels. Worrying tends to die down a little after a while, so for now I would not increase my riding time and relax on the argument of safety.

The problem that may now materialise is Eve always worrying about you off riding. My SO has not ridden too much with me this year, maybe half as much as last year, partly due to safety concerns.

Earlier in the season, for the first time ever, I had an overwhelming sense that a bad accident was right around the corner for me. I did not ride for a few weeks. After talking with a freind he put my mind to rest by reasurring me that most accidents never happen when you are riding cautious, but when you are feeling really good.

So what could I do but get back in the saddle and continue pounding the miles. :superman:

 

[FJRocket]

mine quite riding years ago because she was afraid we'd both be killed and leave our daughter alone. Sheeeeeesh..
So, we no longer do any dangerous activities like ride in a car, plane or motorcycle or take a shower together, let alone sex.

Hell, we might as well get divorced. Wait a minute - we are.

Nevermind..

+1

Gosh, if I worried about what might happen (let alone what HAS happened) every day, I'd never get out of bed. But everyone has their own comfort level. We are definitely not all alike in that respect.

Funny, how I can get my buddies to ride over a buck through buck infested roadways, but can't EVER get some of them to go for a ride in my airplane. Go figger. Then again, I don't like being in closed tight places OR out on the open water. Go figger.

Sorry to hear about Eve's trepidation, Toe. Hope she turns it around. WFO is calling! And we've lected Eve WFO Queen!

 

[dcarver]

"A little help here? I'm losin' the argument...."

TC, don't think of this as an 'argument' to be won or lost. Your beautiful wife and life partner is scared shitless. Respect that. Own it. Work on it slowly. Reality for each of us is how we perceive it, not necessarily as it truly is.

Time, mi amigo, time.

BTW - I'm sure she's going to read this thread. That too, hopefully, is part of the healing process. It's never easy... and if she truly decides that this is it, I hope you two can work through it. I'll leave my personal experiences out of this (for now).. but... give her some room dude...

 

[NC_Yank]

Easy solution.....

Wifey not willing to ride makes......no problem....

Girlfriend always willing to take her place......

:yahoo:

 

[Ari Rankum]

A little help here? I'm losin' the argument....

Tell her the truth - her friend should have been on an FJR. Tell her that when an FJR hits a deer at 65mph, the deer and bike get shredded, and the rider is fine. For her own safety, she should spend AS MUCH TIME AS POSSIBLE ON THE FJR.

 

[twowheelnut]

Bu, bu, but... Who's me and MM gonna flirt with? Surely not you! Put Eve on the party line phone, toot sweet!

 

[TAPnTX]

Here is my take on this!!!!

If it is your time, there is no stopping how it will happen

Herat-attack

Brain Anurism

drive by shooting

Plane Crash

Car Wreck

Cancer

Etc.....

No matter how much money you have, or how well you take care of yourself, when it's time it's time!!!

Just live everyday to the fullest, and if tomorrow never comes, Make sure they put a big smile on your face before closing the BOX!!!

And the only way this accident could be this bad if it was a Freak One. Like he was thrown against rocks or a tree. The SuperBike guys crash all the time at over 100 MPH and normally get up and jump back on.

I have heard of people drowning in the tub, but we continue to take baths, Planes crash all the time, and we still fly, Cars have fatalities all the time and we never give it a second thought about getting behind the wheel and speed, where we should not!!!

Prayers for his fast and full recovery!!!

Todd

 

[benneyb]

TC,

Sorry to hear that Eve has gotten bitten by the worry bug. As others have said, give it, and her, some time. This unfortunate event is still too fresh in her mind. Hopefully with some time, she'll think less of the crash, and potential risks, and more about the good times you two have shared on two wheels instead, and will want to do so again.

 

[rivgar]

My wife lost interest in riding several years ago. Not from being scared, just bored with I guess. She used to fall asleep on the back.

No worries here, I ride alone.

This summer there will be a 10+ day road trip all by myself and I am very much looking forward to it.