Thinking about taking my teenage son cross-country

[wheatonFJR]

My wife & I are considering allowing our 2nd born (will be 15) to be with his Aunt & Uncle for most of this coming summer. They are building their adobe house on some land located at one of the first few ridges west of Fort Collins, CO. He thinks it will be an adventure out there. I'm sure some of it will be...but mainly it will be some hard labor with some times of respite in the mountains.

He also thinks it would be fun if I take him out there on the motorcycle. I think it would be fun, too. I know of course the possibility that any one of us face of death, paralysis, or other assorted injuries in a motorcycle accident. I am leaning toward taking him after telling him about the risks and all the possible negative outcomes and how that would affect his life...then let him see if he still wants to go out that way. If he does, then I would try to convince my wife to get onboard with the idea.

My wife has accepted that terrible things might happen for me as a result of a motorcycle accident...also knowing that I was going to ride a motorcycle anyways whether she approved or not. For me, not riding a motorcycle would be like not breathing...you might as well start shoveling dirt over me if I can't ride.

My wife has ridden with me for a couple of short rides since I've gotten the FJR. However, my wife does not want to entertain the idea of me taking the boy out there on the FJR. I understand her feelings...I surely do. However, I still want to do it. This would be strictly a 2-lane touring ride...5/10ths all the way. Curvy 2-laners sure, but respectful of my parental responsibilities.

My question is this: Would you do this? Would you do this if your wife mildly objected but objected none the less? Would you do this if she strongly objected - understanding that you as a rider have a greater appreciation of the risks involved?

Give me your thoughts...

 

[zzzzip]

Depends.... how long can you go without sex?

B)

 

[wheatonFJR]

Depends.... how long can you go without sex? B)

???What's that??

 

[zzzzip]

Depends.... how long can you go without sex?

B)

???What's that??

No problem then... take the kid.

B)

 

[jwilly]

Take Him!! It's something you and your son will remember forever!! Take your time and be careful.

Good luck....

-jwilly

 

[zzzzip]

Seriously, my boys are in their mid to late 20's and I regret we didn't do more hanging out. We had our best talks when we did-- I had a captive crowd. One wants to do a tour after he does a MS course and buys his own bike.

Sure MCs can be dangerous, but he will be driving in a year and after that there will be no more of hanging with dad unless you make threats. :lol: So keep him close while you can. Tell mom the worry she has about him being with you on a trip will not even come close to the worry she will have the first few years he starts driving and coming home late.

Or you can really scare her by threating to send him west on an Amtrack train. :glare:

B)

PS-- make sure he is in all the photos with you at the titty bars... he won't dare rat you out to mom then.

 

[twowheelnut]

Man, if my old man ever did that for me at 15, I'da been in heaven! Take him and have a ball. What an opportunity for the boadaya's!

 

[MikeYork5]

Do it! Similar circumstances with me. Thinking of taking my 13 year old to the BMW National Rally in West Bend Wisconsin this July. My wife feelings and attitude on bikes very similar to yours, she tolerates it cuz I rode before her and will after her(?). When I brought up the thought of taking Ryan on this run, the Medusa stare promptly turned me to stone. I explained I've been riding for 40 years and I'm still here (kind of), I'm not about to sacrifice us both to the pavement gods. That was a few weeks ago and yesterday she said "How long would it take you to get to THAT Rally?" DONE DEAL - hook is set. However, now I'm thinking do I really want to pack double on my Beemer (would have to take the BMW to THE BMW Rally) for 2 weeks and 4,500 miles or so - not really. But what a great time for the kid, and me. It would be something he would never forget, nor would your boy. Do it!

Depends.... how long can you go without sex?

B)

???What's that??

No problem then... take the kid.

B)

Oh yeah - like I said 'VERY SIMILAR' --- Ditto for me!

 

[TheAxeman]

Do it. As others have said it is something that neither of you will forget...whether its the 3 days of rain in a row that you had, the spectacular scenery, or the people you will meet, its something that will always be with him. Nobody remembers the times they sat around the airport waiting for their flight but going across the country with your Dad on a bike is something he will be able to tell his kids about. Your wife will have to agree on it wholeheartedly though or else the idea will have to be scrapped. At 15, I'm sure your son is a computer expert so it might be cool to get a laptop and have him report back to your wife every night with pictures that way she can share in the trip also. Good luck with it, I hope it all works out.

 

[JimLor]

I'd do it. It would be a great experience for both of you. However, if your wife "strongly" objects, don't do it. You know he wants to do it, I'd sit down with her (just you two) and have a heart to heart. If she really, really, really, objects then I'd save it for another time.

 

[Epirush]

My son is 9 y/o and I realized the other day that half of our time in the same house is over. Assuming he moves out at 18. I ride with him and we're planning overnight mc camping trips for this summer. I guess we could stay home and play video games together but that's not going to happen. Life is full of risks and I applaud his sense of adventure. Don't try to protect him from hard work and explain to your wife that at 15 it's time for him to learn to be his own Man. I assume his safety with the relatives is not an issue.

I envy your relationship with your son that he wants to actually spend time with you at that age. Don't pass up this opportunity. If your wife doesn't understand, show her these posts, every man that rides and has a son dreams of these opportunities. Good Luck and let us know how the ride went.

 

[Inlaw1]

This is something your going to have to get her to say yes to. As zzzzip stated, in another year or two he will be driving and that's really when the Independence kicks in. This is the perfect time for you two to have your time. You have to find a way to make it work with Momma.

As for her disagreement, if it's "I don't approve" then make her understand as best you can and take him. If it's "You better not, I won't have it" then you may not be able to.

Every Father / Son should have an adventure like this, that's why you have to make her understand.

 

[Bearly Flying]

Would be an excellent Driver Training opportunity, If you have an intercom system, as your driving you can point out a few things as your traveling.

"Keep an eye on that Pickup at the intersection"...

" Oh.. Got an idiot barreling up behind us"...

"Gotta take it easy through here, gravel thrown up on the pavement"...

Kids going to be driving in a couple years, might help him to be a bit more aware of the road.

 

[charismaticmegafauna]

Lots of support here for the father/son trip -- and I concur, too. BTDT and now my son takes my grandaughter with him on a ride once in a while -- it's a good thing. Try to involve him as much as possible -- a 'theme' can be good (like, maybe?, Lewis & Clark).

One caveat, tho: it's often best with just you two-- sharing your teen-age son with others while on-tour may not be something they are prepared for.... nor, interested in. :huh:

 

[Kilroy]

Definitely do it. Lots of good advice has already been mentioned so I won't bother repeating it, but hands down an experience neither of you will ever forget. Consider yourself lucky he still wants to hang out with you ...

 

[wheatonFJR]

First of all, THANKS for the responses.

So far, nobody has said that they wouldn't...except to keep order in the household. Is there someone out there that feels that way but doesn't want to seem like a killjoy?

PM me if that is how you feel - but don't want to express that opinion in front of the others.

 

[MikeYork5]

Hey - we're all bikers here of some sort or another on this site - unlikely you're gonna find anyone that suggests you shouldn't take a 15 yr. old on a 1,000 mile trip -- Like was said, only reason not to is to keep the 'piece' - so to speak.

 

[Silver Penguin]

Do it! You appear to be mindful of the risks involved. I'm sure that decent riding gear will be used.

This adventure could shape your relationship for the rest of your lives. When your boy goes through the rest of his teen years, he will have the memories of a great trip (or a terrible trip) and know how much his Dad loves him. Those memories alone could save him from making some bad decisions, as teenage boys tend to do.

Several years ago, I sat in with my son as he learned to drive. I wont say I taught him because he was a natural driver who just put together what he'd been watching for the last 16yrs. Those outings are precious to me. We spent many hours together that we wouldn't have otherwise done. We stopped for coffee, ice cream, fast food and just talked. He's 21 now, and we'll never have those times again. I hope he cherishes them as much as I do.

Jill

 

[zzzzip]

I've seen wheaton ride a couple of times, and have to say the kid will be just fine... unless he tries to get more time on the computer than Mark.

I recall a 1 week bicycle trip with my oldest... He said, "So, this is what old farts do when they retire, huh?" He hated it. But 10 years later we still laugh about it.

Keep in mind there are kids out there only a couple of years older doing something very dangerous everyday. Better he has an adventure with dad than a bunch of fine people you may never get to meet.

So stand firm, be brave, and tell her where the bear crapped in the buckwheat... like you said at the CFO, "I wear the pants when she's not around." :huh:

B)