Thinking about taking my teenage son cross-country

[Geezer]

Just saw this thread.

I have to say yes, do it. My situation at home is different from yours in that my wife rides. She learned 30 years ago when we started dating. She rarely rides these days and does not share my passion for it, but she understands and rarely makes a negative comment about my riding even though it occupies a lot of the time that could be spend fixing things around the house or mowing the lawn, etc.

My oldest daughter, Danielle, saw how much I enjoyed riding and got her license a couple of years ago. She rode my old Maxim one season then asked for a bike of her own as a college graduation present. I got her a used SV650S and she loves it. She rode from NY to WV with me last spring for the Ramble and had a great time.

Danielle is an adult and has her own life these days. She still lives at home but spends most of her time at work or with her boyfriend. We still share motorcycling as a common interest and it gives us a reason to spend time together, riding, maintaining, or just talking.

For EOM, my second daughter Deena asked me if she could go. Deena is more of a 'girlie girl' and never showed much interest in motorcycles before, so it really surprised me that she wanted to go. EOM was about 800 miles from home and we stopped overnight on the way down. The ride home was a little more challenging because we needed to get home in one day. She enjoyed the entire journey, both ways, and especially enjoyed riding with me and the various folks we rode with, and socialized with, at EOM.

Deena is 21 years old now and has recently moved into her own apartment about 30 miles from me.

I would not have missed either of these experiences for anything. Being an optimist I feel like we will always be able to do it again, but realistically, a lot of things become 'once in a life time experiences' so don't pass up an opportunity.

 

[gypsy]

I would definitely do it and in fact can't wait until my son is old enough to ride with me. If my wife mildly objected I would try to convince her. If she forcefully objected I wouldn't take him. This of course would give me a free "I don't want you to..." card!

gypsy

 

[ponyfool]

Without a doubt, and without hesitation.

If my kid still wants to hang out with me when he's 15, I'd do damn near anything with him!

I would have loved to have him with me when I did my cc trip this summer.

 

[Greg E.]

Without a doubt!! Do it. It's amazin' how long and strong childhood memories are.

 

[Scab]

Do it. Do it. Do it. My son is now 16 and it's just not "cool" to ride on the back with old dad anymore. We did have a bunch of rides through the years, though. I wouldn't trade those days for anything. I wish things were still the same. Maybe he will want a streetbike one day and we can go together again. (I bought him a dirtbike for bike-experience a couple of years back, just in case)

 

[05fjrBluedevil]

My wife & I are considering allowing our 2nd born (will be 15) to be with his Aunt & Uncle for most of this coming summer. They are building their adobe house on some land located at one of the first few ridges west of Fort Collins, CO. He thinks it will be an adventure out there. I'm sure some of it will be...but mainly it will be some hard labor with some times of respite in the mountains.
He also thinks it would be fun if I take him out there on the motorcycle. I think it would be fun, too. I know of course the possibility that any one of us face of death, paralysis, or other assorted injuries in a motorcycle accident. I am leaning toward taking him after telling him about the risks and all the possible negative outcomes and how that would affect his life...then let him see if he still wants to go out that way. If he does, then I would try to convince my wife to get onboard with the idea.

My wife has accepted that terrible things might happen for me as a result of a motorcycle accident...also knowing that I was going to ride a motorcycle anyways whether she approved or not. For me, not riding a motorcycle would be like not breathing...you might as well start shoveling dirt over me if I can't ride.

My wife has ridden with me for a couple of short rides since I've gotten the FJR. However, my wife does not want to entertain the idea of me taking the boy out there on the FJR. I understand her feelings...I surely do. However, I still want to do it. This would be strictly a 2-lane touring ride...5/10ths all the way. Curvy 2-laners sure, but respectful of my parental responsibilities.

My question is this: Would you do this? Would you do this if your wife mildly objected but objected none the less? Would you do this if she strongly objected - understanding that you as a rider have a greater appreciation of the risks involved?

Give me your thoughts...

After you speak to your son and get his feelings, step back and think about it some more.

I would love to do something like that with my son, he is 18 now, sure we have been on short rides.

But nothing like a bonding adventure this would be.

I would probally want to take a long ride a few hundred miles, then see if he still feels like he would like to be on a bike for that long!

Make sure he knows what it is like in all riding conditions, heat, rain and cold etc.

If something happened, provide him with basic first aid training in case he needs to assist you.

Be sure to take a route that leads it self to have good cell phone coverage and plenty of fun stops.

Then since your wife is not happy ask your self, what if something did happen, could you still keep the family in tact!

sorry to be so straight forward here.

If you do take this ride, be sure to stop to smell the roses along the way!

 

[throttlejockeyTJ]

Partly on topic

Driving in a year! Send the kid to a car control class on a race track. It's hard to understand what 'out of control' means without experiencing it. He won't have to do something stupid to find out what limits are..

 

[BugR]

Hey Mark I think you and your son will have a great time.

I have ridden with my kids (late teens) on day trips and after that they stopped bugging me about how dangerous bikes are and started bugging me about them getting their licenses.

Get an intercomm, it really makes a hugh difference two up, and keep the days under 400 miles so that you get enough breaks in.

Chris

 

[wheatonFJR]

Again, THANKS all for your posts. I appreciate all the comments as they are typically very practical and helpful.

My wife is still working through this idea of my son riding with me. She would never opt for my son to go on this trip with me. The question for her in her mind (I think) is whether she will "stand in the way" of this trip.

I told my wife that there was a thread on this topic on the board. Before she read the posts, she said, "well I could also "poll" a bunch of ER staff and ask them what they think of this idea to get their perspective." A few days ago I got her to she read the posts. Though she still isn't crazy about this thing, I think I have a better shot at my son taking this trip with me. I think the sincerity and thought behind the posts of others helped.

She suggested that I take my son for a shorter trip (up to SW WI perhaps B) :yahoo: ) to see if he REALLY understands what it means to be on a motorcycle seat all day. This remark by her shows me that she might eventually accept this trip.

My plans for this trip out to Colorado is roughly 400 miles max per day and stick to 2-laners. When doing multiple days, this is usually the upper limit for me -though in a pinch I will do 600 or so on my stock seat.

I will look at a possible route of maybe taking the MI River down to Hooterville, MO . Heading south and west through northern Arkansas to the Talimena and maybe visit Stillwater, OK I would then just head north and west to Colorado and maybe take him through the Front range of the Colorado Rockies up to the property west of Fort Collins, CO.

Or I could just drone on I-80 out to Colorado <_< .....

NAHHHH...

Anyways, thanks to all for your responses and not talking about ***** bars too much (j/k there zzzzzzzzip)

 

[zzzzip]

Oh, oh.... you let your wife read my posts?

Like all good mothers/wives she has come up with a reasonable compromise in my opinion. The shorter ride is a good idea, and if I had done one with my son, he probably would have not gone on the longer one as it was not his thing (turned out to not be my thing either). If he is still hot to do the tour, I'm sure he could bend her his way and make her OK with her consent.

Make sure she knows I was just kidding about the bars.... never been in one, but my wife has. Claimed she was better "equipped" than the barmaid. Say... now there's a poll she could take with the ER crowd.

B)

 

[wheatonFJR]

Oh, oh.... you let your wife read my posts?
Like all good mothers/wives she has come up with a reasonable compromise in my opinion. The shorter ride is a good idea, and if I had done one with my son, he probably would have not gone on the longer one as it was not his thing (turned out to not be my thing either). If he is still hot to do the tour, I'm sure he could bend her his way and make her OK with her consent.

Make sure she knows I was just kidding about the bars.... never been in one, but my wife has. Claimed she was better "equipped" than the barmaid. Say... now there's a poll she could take with the ER crowd.

B)

All's well there zzzip. She read the thread and said nothing about ***** bars and such

 

[Grumpy]

The advice from a 65 year old with two grown kids is to quit asking, load up and get started. You're doing something that most 15 year olds would died to do! A really great way to get much closer to your son.

I guess I'm a bit suprised that at the age of 15 you haven't already turned into the dumbest person on the face of the planet!

Take the trip quick!

jim

 

[krashdragon]

"I told my wife that there was a thread on this topic on the board. Before she read the posts, she said, "well I could also "poll" a bunch of ER staff and ask them what they think of this idea to get their perspective."

Yeah, and she could also ask the ER peeps about AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS, PEDESTRIAN ACCIDENTS, AIRPLANE CRASHES, AND BUNGEE JUMPING!

Oh, and I forgot HURRICANES, TORNADOES AND EARTHQUAKES!

Face it, life is not safe... PERIOD..

So what's new?

The fact the your son is willing to try this, go for it...

You don't even need tp stick to 2 laners... superslabs are in some ways safer, depending where they are... for example.. I-40 in the middle of the summer totally sucks east of Memphis... but out west, it's miles and miles of mountains and plains...

KOA Kabins are nice, too, but most of them are near major interstates. My son totally enyoyed staying in them this summer ( he's 21).. that may have been influenced by the one night we did tent camp. It started to rain about 4:30 in the morning... we were out of the tents, threw everything into the Jeep, and were on our way by 5AM right as the rain started to dump!! It poured most of the day, too....

The guy that posted about old peeps regreting what the always wanted to do and didnt'.... that's right on...

which is why i'm running around the country on my bikes.... and my kids think it's pretty cool... especially at my age.... (ummm... I aint' saying!)...but my sons are 24 and 21..... B)

Mary

 

[Epirush]

Poll ER Workers...I've been a paramedic since '92 and have seen my share of bad stuff, that's why I would do this trip. I've seen freak accidents and rare disease take parents and children. If you manage your risks and don't live in fear of what may happen, your less likely to have regrets when uncontrollable circumstance occur.

Motorcycles are dangerous, but with experience, protective gear and good safety practices that risk is managable.

 

[03HiYoSilver]

Poll ER Workers...I've been a paramedic since '92 and have seen my share of bad stuff, that's why I would do this trip. I've seen freak accidents and rare disease take parents and children. If you manage your risks and don't live in fear of what may happen, your less likely to have regrets when uncontrollable circumstance occur.
Motorcycles are dangerous, but with experience, protective gear and good safety practices that risk is managable.

Exactly, just like getting out of bed every morning.