Two Irishmen

[want2ride]

Mickey and Don were looking forward to bar hopping but only had five dollars between them. Don was distraught over the lack of funds but Mickey was the smart one. Mickey said give me your five and I will get us drunk for the night so Don handed over the money.

Mickey ran into a butcher shop and came back with a foot long sausage. Don yelled at him for wasting the money on sausage. Mickey said relax, this sausage will get us free beers all night long. How is that going to work?, asked Don. Simple, we walk into a bar and start a tab. When they ask us to pay later I will unzip my pants and whip out the sausage and you will get on your knees and start sucking on it. The bartender will get grossed out and kick us out of the bar and we will not have to pay!

So the boys took off on their adventure and in the first bar when asked to pay Mickey whipped it out and Don went to town on it. The bartender promptly tossed them out of the bar and the boys roared in laughter. Lets move on to the next bar now said Don.

After several bars and repeating this act Don look at Mickey complaining he was tired and his mouth was sore so could they call it a night? Mickey looked at Don and said Your mouth is sore? **** how do you think I feel? I lost the sausage four bars ago!

 

[HotRodZilla]

That's way better than the last one. Way more gross, but way better! Haha...

 

[Old Michael]

Why it gotta be Mick and Don?

You're on a roll, want2.

 

[LKLD]

If the sausage fits....

 

[HotRodZilla]

Well, if it was our Mick and Don, no wonder the sausage got lost. It was a Vienna Sausage.

 

[puppychow]

Well, if it was our Mick and Don, no wonder the sausage got lost. It was a Vienna Sausage.

If it was our Mick and Don, then Mick lost the sausage before the first bar.

 

[Old Michael]

HRZ, OFace just rolled into ABQ. Shouldn't you be on an overpass with a radar gun?

Don, they've turned on us.

And you with only one bloody arm.

Shameful.

 

[rushes]

.

 

[puppychow]

Speaking of radar guns and overpasses...

Mick gets pulled over on his way to work. The cop asks the usual question - "Why are you in such a hurry?".

Mick replies that he is late for work and the cop cuts him off and says - "I suppose you have a really important job like a doctor where it is a matter of life and death, that you be there, huh?".

Mick says - "No, actually I am an ******* stretcher.".

The cop says - "An ******* stretcher, what is that?".

Mick says - "It is where you start with one finger, and then work in a second until you get your whole hand in there, and then the other hand, and you keep stretching until it is about six foot.".

The cop says - "What the hell! That's disgusting!! What the hell do you do with a six foot *******?".

Mick says - "You give him a radar gun and put him on an overpass."

 

[G Squared]

Boy, the room sure went silent after that one!!!! Now that is f---in funny !!!

 

[juniorfjr]

I don't think A.J. is six feet tall.

 

[Old Michael]

I don't think A.J. is six feet tall.

 

[beemerdons]

I don't think A.J. is six feet tall.

In his Huarache sandals, 'Zilla is 5'-9" ese!

 

[HotRodZilla]

That was mean, Junior, you bastard!!

 

[juniorfjr]

Hell, I was trying to defend you.

 

[wfooshee]

Tall, wide, what the hell......