Whats the Dumbest thing you ever did
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HotRodZilla
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Ok...I'm gonna fold for just once cuz this story is funny...Well to me anyway.
So...Dumbest thing I did during the summer of 1982:
I was 10 and we were missing 5 cows with new calves. My dad told me to take a horse and go find them. He was prolly tired of me being around the house and decided this was a good way to make me busy. He also didn't want them seperated for the bobcats and coyotes to kill the babies.
My cousin, who was/is a pussy was there and I decided he should go. My dad suggested I go alone, but he shrugged and let me take the dipshit.
As we walked out of the house towards the barn, he tells me, "It's going to rain. Use one of the old roping saddles. Don't take yours, and DO NOT take my new saddle." His new saddle was freaking beautiful and hardly broken in. I really liked it.
So we caught the horses and I saddled my cousin's. Then I decided that we wouldn't be gone long and my dad wouldn't know if I took his saddle. All saddled up and off we went.
We rode about 5 miles out and found the cows and their calves. My cousin was an idiot and getting them to the windmill corral took twice as long as it should have, but all done and NO rain. Ha!
We rode about 5 minutes, screwing off when we saw and heard lightning. 2 minutes later, it was raining like a ************. Not cool. Then the lightning part of the lightning storm came to life all around us. It was so close and loud, we could feel it. I watched it hit the fence and run blue lines 20-30 yards out across the wet ground.
Right then, I knew we were screwed cuz we were the tallest things out there. My decision was to haul ass and run the horses home before we got roasted. The ******* James decided he was scared and jumped off his horse. He was hanging on under the horses neck and wouldn't let go.
I told him we had to go or we were gonna die. BIG mistake. He started crying harder and wouldn't move. I almost left him, but I didn't want to get in trouble. Dead was bad...Trouble was worse. Especially if I killed James.
I poked, prodded and begged, trying to coax him back into his horse. I finally convinced him I would stand so I would be taller and get hit by lightening first. That was a ******* LIE, but I woulda said anything to get that idiot back on the horse.
I had to boost him up because he was scared and couldn't do it alone. Not to mention that horse had had just about enough of the rain and wanted to go home.
So, wet and muddy, I climbed back onto my dad's brand new, wet, muddy saddle. Finally, we hauled ass and made it to the barn unscathed. I undid the horses while cry boy sobbed and tried to figure out how I was gonna clean my dad's saddle so he wouldn't know.
Since I was a super genius, I worked my plan out in my head and carried the saddles under the overhang to the boxcar. My plan was perfect...Until I opened the door and saw my dad standing near the row of saddles.
You see, when the rain and lightening hit, he knew we were out there and was gonna grab a horse to find us. He knew we were where a truck wouldn't go, so he went to grab a saddle and a horse. Since he wasn't an idiot, he immediately noticed his new saddle was gone.
I guess he decided if I died I deserved it and just waited for us there. My dad was not the guy to sscrew with. He could unload three 100lb sacks of feed from the truck at once.
He beat the living **** out of me. Holy Hell...I had it coming, but that leaves an impression on a 10 year old boys psyche...He was pissed for a week and I had to disassemble his saddle and clean and soap it every day for almost two weeks.
Years later, randomly, my dad would ask, "Remember when you took my saddle and made Jimmy cry?" He was mad when it happened but later realized how funny it was that I had to drag the sissy home.
Makes me glad I had him to teach me stuff...Also makes me realize how much I miss my dad.
So...Dumbest thing I did during the summer of 1982:
I was 10 and we were missing 5 cows with new calves. My dad told me to take a horse and go find them. He was prolly tired of me being around the house and decided this was a good way to make me busy. He also didn't want them seperated for the bobcats and coyotes to kill the babies.
My cousin, who was/is a pussy was there and I decided he should go. My dad suggested I go alone, but he shrugged and let me take the dipshit.
As we walked out of the house towards the barn, he tells me, "It's going to rain. Use one of the old roping saddles. Don't take yours, and DO NOT take my new saddle." His new saddle was freaking beautiful and hardly broken in. I really liked it.
So we caught the horses and I saddled my cousin's. Then I decided that we wouldn't be gone long and my dad wouldn't know if I took his saddle. All saddled up and off we went.
We rode about 5 miles out and found the cows and their calves. My cousin was an idiot and getting them to the windmill corral took twice as long as it should have, but all done and NO rain. Ha!
We rode about 5 minutes, screwing off when we saw and heard lightning. 2 minutes later, it was raining like a ************. Not cool. Then the lightning part of the lightning storm came to life all around us. It was so close and loud, we could feel it. I watched it hit the fence and run blue lines 20-30 yards out across the wet ground.
Right then, I knew we were screwed cuz we were the tallest things out there. My decision was to haul ass and run the horses home before we got roasted. The ******* James decided he was scared and jumped off his horse. He was hanging on under the horses neck and wouldn't let go.
I told him we had to go or we were gonna die. BIG mistake. He started crying harder and wouldn't move. I almost left him, but I didn't want to get in trouble. Dead was bad...Trouble was worse. Especially if I killed James.
I poked, prodded and begged, trying to coax him back into his horse. I finally convinced him I would stand so I would be taller and get hit by lightening first. That was a ******* LIE, but I woulda said anything to get that idiot back on the horse.
I had to boost him up because he was scared and couldn't do it alone. Not to mention that horse had had just about enough of the rain and wanted to go home.
So, wet and muddy, I climbed back onto my dad's brand new, wet, muddy saddle. Finally, we hauled ass and made it to the barn unscathed. I undid the horses while cry boy sobbed and tried to figure out how I was gonna clean my dad's saddle so he wouldn't know.
Since I was a super genius, I worked my plan out in my head and carried the saddles under the overhang to the boxcar. My plan was perfect...Until I opened the door and saw my dad standing near the row of saddles.
You see, when the rain and lightening hit, he knew we were out there and was gonna grab a horse to find us. He knew we were where a truck wouldn't go, so he went to grab a saddle and a horse. Since he wasn't an idiot, he immediately noticed his new saddle was gone.
I guess he decided if I died I deserved it and just waited for us there. My dad was not the guy to sscrew with. He could unload three 100lb sacks of feed from the truck at once.
He beat the living **** out of me. Holy Hell...I had it coming, but that leaves an impression on a 10 year old boys psyche...He was pissed for a week and I had to disassemble his saddle and clean and soap it every day for almost two weeks.
Years later, randomly, my dad would ask, "Remember when you took my saddle and made Jimmy cry?" He was mad when it happened but later realized how funny it was that I had to drag the sissy home.
Makes me glad I had him to teach me stuff...Also makes me realize how much I miss my dad.
PhilJet09
Nondescript FJR Hierarchy Displayed
Nah, not really. The guys I work with all keep me at arm's length though. My problem is, I "grew up" on the maintenance side of the fence.Damn Phil! You pilots are a crazy bunch! I've done some crazy **** but, You Win!)
majicmaker
Well-known member
Yep! The maintenance side was always the safe side. Aviation is something that you have to love! If not, it'll made you crazy! Or kill you!!Nah, not really. The guys I work with all keep me at arm's length though. My problem is, I "grew up" on the maintenance side of the fence.Damn Phil! You pilots are a crazy bunch! I've done some crazy **** but, You Win!
)dcarver
Well-known member
Right about when I write you off as jack ass you come up with genuine pearls of life and I like you again. Oh woe is me. See you in La Pine, right? Bust will do you right for wrecking the 'saddle' then.
Redfish Hunter
Gone Fishing
Damn you Zilla. I was not going to fold. Since you did, I hate you and hate anyone who doesn't hate you. I also hate the idiot who started this thread. Most of all, I hate sharing this story...
When I was 19 I had a really really really gorgeous girlfriend. She was waaaay to hot for me, we were a mismatch. I knew it was only a matter of time until she realized she could do better. (This is called "Setting the Stage")
This girl's father found a baby raccoon in the woods and brought it home to his lovely daughter. It lived less than a week and it died. So, she HAD to have a replacement. Since we lived in Redneckville Louisiana there were plenty of 'necks who kept and bred raccoons. Who would have thought? They got her a replacement baby raccoon. A female raccoon.
It was cute but not cuddly and it made for an odd pet. It also interfered with my romantic advances in late evenings because raccoons are nocturnal and that is when she wanted to play. Time passes and the young raccoon grew and came into ahhh season? It got mean as hell. They had to put it in a cage outside. I begged her, her mother and father begged her, we all begged her to release the raccoon back into the wild. She refused. Eventually the raccoon escaped the cage and climbed a very very tall pine tree. It would not come down. The girl tried everything she could to get the 'coon out of the tree but it was no good. She tried to get us to get it out. We did nothing. So, she contacted one of the Rednecks she had met during her Coon Search. He showed up with an extension ladder.
I sensed immediately that he had some ideas toward my smoking hot girlfriend. I could NOT let him be the hero. The 30 foot extension ladder did not reach to the lowest limb. I had to climb up the trunk to the lower limbs, then work my way up. The "pet" coon climbed down to meet me. She got on my shoulder, just like old times. She sniffed around my ear, she made little noises and then...
We fought like wild animals in that tree. I fought for my life. A raccoon has every advantage when you are up a tree. In case you don't know, a raccoon has 4 corners, each corner has razor sharp claws. The entire front end of a raccoon is covered in sharp teeth. It was an ugly, ugly fight. I finally got in a stunning blow to its head and then basically free fell through the branches. I got back down the ladder, bleeding from both ears, my nose, my face and arms. My T-shirt was in shreds and so was I. The rough pine bark had not helped matters.
The girl was mad at me. "I saw you hit her!" The Redneck put on a welding shirt (long sleeved), welding gloves, and the family helped him out. They gave him a pillow case and a bag of potato chips. "Lure her over with the potato chips, then stuff her in the pillow case." Why did I not get that kind of help? Well, they knew on some level that I had seen their daughter naked and they hated me for it. Our Redneck hero makes it up there, the raccoon attacked him. He too had to fight but he was better protected. Eventually, he slung off the welding glove that had the coon attached to it and coon and glove hit the ground after a 50 foot free-fall. Where it was instantly attacked by the family's two pet Dobermans.
The girl, cried, screamed, begged and pleaded but none of us were willing to get involved in a dog and raccoon fight. Then, she grabbed my bloody arm, looked me in the eyes and, and, and... Did I mention she was FINE? I mean, really beauty contest winning, smoking hot FINE? Well, I did remember what she looked like without her clothes and...
When I got home if I had not been in so much pain my Dad would have beaten the hell out of me. As it was, it was all I could do to keep him from going over there and beating hell out of her Dad.
I have done other things almost as dumb. Lots of them. But I will never climb a tree after a Raccoon again. I also learned a great lesson about looks vs. love.
When I was 19 I had a really really really gorgeous girlfriend. She was waaaay to hot for me, we were a mismatch. I knew it was only a matter of time until she realized she could do better. (This is called "Setting the Stage")
This girl's father found a baby raccoon in the woods and brought it home to his lovely daughter. It lived less than a week and it died. So, she HAD to have a replacement. Since we lived in Redneckville Louisiana there were plenty of 'necks who kept and bred raccoons. Who would have thought? They got her a replacement baby raccoon. A female raccoon.
It was cute but not cuddly and it made for an odd pet. It also interfered with my romantic advances in late evenings because raccoons are nocturnal and that is when she wanted to play. Time passes and the young raccoon grew and came into ahhh season? It got mean as hell. They had to put it in a cage outside. I begged her, her mother and father begged her, we all begged her to release the raccoon back into the wild. She refused. Eventually the raccoon escaped the cage and climbed a very very tall pine tree. It would not come down. The girl tried everything she could to get the 'coon out of the tree but it was no good. She tried to get us to get it out. We did nothing. So, she contacted one of the Rednecks she had met during her Coon Search. He showed up with an extension ladder.
I sensed immediately that he had some ideas toward my smoking hot girlfriend. I could NOT let him be the hero. The 30 foot extension ladder did not reach to the lowest limb. I had to climb up the trunk to the lower limbs, then work my way up. The "pet" coon climbed down to meet me. She got on my shoulder, just like old times. She sniffed around my ear, she made little noises and then...
We fought like wild animals in that tree. I fought for my life. A raccoon has every advantage when you are up a tree. In case you don't know, a raccoon has 4 corners, each corner has razor sharp claws. The entire front end of a raccoon is covered in sharp teeth. It was an ugly, ugly fight. I finally got in a stunning blow to its head and then basically free fell through the branches. I got back down the ladder, bleeding from both ears, my nose, my face and arms. My T-shirt was in shreds and so was I. The rough pine bark had not helped matters.
The girl was mad at me. "I saw you hit her!" The Redneck put on a welding shirt (long sleeved), welding gloves, and the family helped him out. They gave him a pillow case and a bag of potato chips. "Lure her over with the potato chips, then stuff her in the pillow case." Why did I not get that kind of help? Well, they knew on some level that I had seen their daughter naked and they hated me for it. Our Redneck hero makes it up there, the raccoon attacked him. He too had to fight but he was better protected. Eventually, he slung off the welding glove that had the coon attached to it and coon and glove hit the ground after a 50 foot free-fall. Where it was instantly attacked by the family's two pet Dobermans.
The girl, cried, screamed, begged and pleaded but none of us were willing to get involved in a dog and raccoon fight. Then, she grabbed my bloody arm, looked me in the eyes and, and, and... Did I mention she was FINE? I mean, really beauty contest winning, smoking hot FINE? Well, I did remember what she looked like without her clothes and...
When I got home if I had not been in so much pain my Dad would have beaten the hell out of me. As it was, it was all I could do to keep him from going over there and beating hell out of her Dad.
I have done other things almost as dumb. Lots of them. But I will never climb a tree after a Raccoon again. I also learned a great lesson about looks vs. love.
Afast03nNJ
Well-known member
Back in my youth, we tossed lit matches into my neighbors back yard and played chicken with each other to see how long we'd wait until we put the burning dry leaves out. When the fire department finally put the forest fire out, my neighbor was left with nice soil to start his new lawn with in the spring. Fast forward 40 years (present job) I manufacture & market an echo friendly fire suppressant agent called Cold Fire. Funny how things go full circle.
marcusorelius
Well-known member
When we were kids we went over to visit our cousins for the day. We found an aersol can of paint in a field, we gave little cousin Jeffery (maybe 5 or 6) a pick axe and told him to hit the can. Well the little guy swung the axe nearly as big as him, and damned if he didn't hit it square center!
It blew up and little Jeffery had a blue face!
It blew up and little Jeffery had a blue face!
Bungie
FrostBack #2 - IBA # 44620
You guys are a buncha 'tards.
Thank god I've always been smrt enough to never, ever, do anything stupid.
Today.
Thank god I've always been smrt enough to never, ever, do anything stupid.
Today.
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majicmaker
Well-known member
But fold you did!! I knew you would. It's hard to hear all these "Stupid" stories and not chime in. That was a good one. FYI, even I wasn't Stupid enough to get into a Bitch Slapping contest with a raccoon!!! Jesus Dude! Did you learn from that one what PUSSY will do to you?!
)
majicmaker
Well-known member
Wheaton... Wheaton to the white phone Please! You're going to cave and you know it! Might as well get it over with!! Lmao )
)wheatonFJR
...
You obviously don't know me.Wheaton... Wheaton to the white phone Please! You're going to cave and you know it! Might as well get it over with!! Lmao
majicmaker
Well-known member
Maybe I don't! But, you wanna don't you? It's cleansing!You obviously don't know me.Wheaton... Wheaton to the white phone Please! You're going to cave and you know it! Might as well get it over with!! Lmao
whataboutbob
Well-known member
Letting a bad lightning storm get between where me and my wife were and where the landing was and I decided against my best judgement and hers to "go for it".let me tell you that **** is no fun at all being in an aluminum boat in a wide river with nothing around except lightning popping .trust me,I did alot of talking to the man upstairs.(also tried to keep lower in the boat than my wife and she was doing the same).got back to the landing and while putting the boat on the trailer with my feet in the water,lightning struck very very close.shocked me from feet to hands.next time will wait it out
dcarver
Well-known member
5th grade, and I took some .22 shells to school. One of the kids declared them to be fake, not real.
I said 'They are real'
John Jesson said (yes I remember his name) 'Prove it!'
...so I took one and started throwing it against the brick wall under the stair steps. On the 4th throw, 'POP' and one of the kids is down. The bullet creased the eyebrow and left a little red mark - and that was it. Talk about dumb-ass kids...
I said 'They are real'
John Jesson said (yes I remember his name) 'Prove it!'
...so I took one and started throwing it against the brick wall under the stair steps. On the 4th throw, 'POP' and one of the kids is down. The bullet creased the eyebrow and left a little red mark - and that was it. Talk about dumb-ass kids...
wheatonFJR
...
Isn't that what the nurse says to the burn patient just before the wire brush treatment...no thanks. I feel clean already.Maybe I don't! But, you wanna don't you? It's cleansing!You obviously don't know me.Wheaton... Wheaton to the white phone Please! You're going to cave and you know it! Might as well get it over with!! Lmao
HotRodZilla
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Not gonna tell the whole story, but I once got my ass kicked by an Emu. Like the raccoon, they can be fierce. My wife still laughs every time she remembers me walking in the door with a torn uniform and beat up by an overgrown chicken.
majicmaker
Well-known member
gixxerjasen
Well-known member
exskibum
~<>~<>~<>~<>~
Pound for pound, I'll take the raccoon. But the emu brings a whole lot more of those pounds to the party. AJ, it's a righteous shame that your writing talents are wasted on writing citations and reports. You've got a way with story telling.
Still, Howie's got you beat (topic is "dumbest thing") unless there's a backstory at Toas that makes the thread. I'm thinking that Carver is the only one really giving Howie a run for his money right now, though I can imagine that with video, your emu fight and RFH's raccoon rumble might have a chance.
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