Zilla, nice reflections.
I wasn't on this ride, but damn if I could relate to it. I've had two group rides that resulted in folks getting lost, confused, and worried calls being sent around. Not coincidentally, both of them happened when we were in rural areas (or off-road, in my recent WABDR excursion on the Husky), and in both cases, we were riding with experienced, thoughtful riders.
Point is, this happens to everyone, even the best of us. Walking through this in a thoughtful way, with the goal of informing and learning, is healthy and productive. It teaches everyone else, and it reminds us next time to pay attention, usually about the time when we've gotten comfortable and dropped our guard.
My two cents:
The group on that day had gotten a little out of control. 13 bikes, with riders of different styles.
Agree that the size of this group was the first challenge. The PNW crew learned this lesson a long time ago, and we break into groups of 5 max, grouped by speed. We all know each other's pace pretty well, and if we get a newbie, we deliberately slow it down or have a discussion prior to the ride. More than five, and it just becomes too tough to keep track of everyone or keep a reasonable pace.
If you have hot rodders that like to make time and move fast, either they need to ride in smaller group, or they need to decide to slow down. This has to be done at the start of the ride, not in the middle. Gas stops are a good time to reform new groups. Some of you might think this is too much "structure" and "supervision". If that's you, you need to start riding alone, regroup with those that keep your pace, or relax and slow down.
On my woods ride a couple of months back, after a group of us got separated deep in the forest, we had a pow-wow the moment we rejoined up with the group. Most of us had never ridden with this group, and didn't know their style; only three of the guys had ridden with each other. The leader re-explained the buddy system and simple hand commands, and thereafter, it went down just fine. A day later, when one of the pack had a pretty spectacular get-off in the middle of nowwhere, the buddy system came in handy and we were able to quickly regroup and help the downed rider, with no one getting lost and no confusion. This was super important as we had zero coverage, though several of us had SPOTS. It was totally worth the embarrassment I felt when the group called me on my misunderstanding of the system and some of the commands. I sucked it up, and the rest of the ride was a blast. Afterwards, I felt much closer to this new group and so much more confident should something have gone wrong. (I missed hitting an elk by about 50 feet on that trip, it wasn't my time).
Also, we had prepared beforehand by having everyone in the group provide various contact info (their cell, their emergency contact) and had established a phone tree in case of emergency. This meant having a spouse volunteer to be the "relay", and if an issue came up, she was responsible for keeping everyone informed and being the contact lead.
Two years ago, after that guy went missing for a few weeks and they found him dead in the bushes, having crashed on the road, I bought a SPOT and dedicated it for me and offered it for the PNW Crew's use. I set up profiles for every member, and when they need it, I just activate their profile after I confirm with them about their emergency contacts. Auburn and crew are using it now for their 10 day trip through the West. I pay for coverage, and have everyone bring me back a fresh set of Lithium Ion batteries as a fee for borrowing it. It's piece of mind, and money well spent for our super close, super supportive crew. If you regularly ride as a group, it's a wise investment.
Radios are great, but unreliable. GPS is great, but you need to have studied the route beforehand, and hopefully carried a map. I lost my GPS on a get off during the "woods" ride, and didn't know the route very well, so I was totally dependent on the other riders. And you should communicate with the group where you plan to stop next, just for a check up. That way, no one gets too far ahead and has to make "should I stay or should I go" decisions.
EscapeArtist is one of the best group leads I know, and PanMan and Niehart are probably the best sweeps I know. When I ride with this crew, I know they have my back, I know their pace, and it's too the point where I just don't enjoy riding in larger groups with new people unless we have a pointed ride discussion before we start. Every time I've neglected this, something has gone wrong, people go missing, and the ride just isn't any fun. It's taken us quite a few rides to get to this point, but even now, we always have a pre-ride discussion.
Happy that PuppyChow is able to share his perspectives, and happy that everyone here shared their versions. Always great to learn and rethink my own practices.
Art, keeping an eye on Skooter ==> fox watching the hen-house. :lol: 
