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I first signed up in 1981 to be a tanker and hit OSUT (sort of an extended Basic/AIT combined) in June 1982. was stationed at FT Polk in the 5th ID, Erlangen, West Germany in the 1st AD, re-enlisted for the 1/63 armor, FT Irwin CA to be OPFOR had a great time as OPFOR... until the Army found us. While at Ft Irwin (the only place in the world that makes BARSTOW look good) I got married and WHAMO!! Stuff hit the fan... Went to West Germany again, to Baumholder (The Rock, yeah, the Barstow of Europe!) During all this I crewed M60A1's M48A5's M60A3's (actually my favorite of all tanks) M551 Sheridans (not really a tank but close) and M1A1's.

Got half tossed half volunteered out in 1990 to get full custody of my 2 year old son. Tankers make lousy single parents. A real bummer but a man's got to do what a man's got to do.

Joined the California National Guard in May 2004 for a ONE year enlistment and in October 2004 they sent me on a 15 month deployment to Bosnia. That's OK, I stayed in through the present. I deployed again in 2009, this time to Kosovo, coming home in May of 2010.

My "civilian" job mandates that I remain in the guard so I will be in until I am 60, 11 more years.

I'll remember some funny tanker stories later. Too bad I can't post pix, I got a couple real Duesy's(?) (Doosy's?) good ones.

 
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Burnspot, all those things brought back all those same memories for me. I was a green shirt. Airframes shop but, I got sent to the Flight Deck as a White Shirt Trouble Shooter for my squadron. I still have nightmares of all the Pucker Moments that resulted in me squirting little golden nuggets in my shorts! Ahhhhhhhh The Memories! :lol: I think you guys on the Ranger relieved the USS Midway when it was Decommed. Is that correct?
Heh, yea, there are many of those moments. Now that you mention it, I think we did relieve Midway...that's the one that had a permanent list to port right? I think we did that near Japan IIRC.

Oh...a goodie I almost forgot. When working in VMFAT-101 (F/A-18's) on the Nimitz for carrier quals. My jet comes in and prepares to do a hot seat (crew changeover while right engine/power remains on). The pilot and backseater get out and a new pilot gets in...there's no backseater for this run. As a result, it's my job as plane captain to crawl up to the back seat and safe it out for solo flight. As I'm doing my work, I feel a pressure on my back....the pilot was CLOSING the friggin canopy!!! At that moment, I got to do something few enlisted fellas dare do...I slapped the everloving shit out of that pilot's helmet to get his attention. I got it. He freaked and quickly opened the canopy back up. I briefly "counseled" him on what he almost did and how messy it would've been (good thing he could barely hear me above the noise) and sent him on his way. I scored a huge bruise across my back AND a couple of cases of beer from the pilot when we got back to base.

 
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Burnspot, all those things brought back all those same memories for me. I was a green shirt. Airframes shop but, I got sent to the Flight Deck as a White Shirt Trouble Shooter for my squadron. I still have nightmares of all the Pucker Moments that resulted in me squirting little golden nuggets in my shorts! Ahhhhhhhh The Memories! :lol: I think you guys on the Ranger relieved the USS Midway when it was Decommed. Is that correct?
Heh, yea, there are many of those moments. Now that you mention it, I think we did relieve Midway...that's the one that had a permanent list to port right? I think we did that near Japan IIRC.

Oh...a goodie I almost forgot. When working in VMFAT-101 (F/A-18's) on the Nimitz for carrier quals. My jet comes in and prepares to do a hot seat (crew changeover while right engine/power remains on). The pilot and backseater get out and a new pilot gets in...there's no backseater for this run. As a result, it's my job as plane captain to crawl up to the back seat and safe it out for solo flight. As I'm doing my work, I feel a pressure on my back....the pilot was CLOSING the friggin canopy!!! At that moment, I got to do something few enlisted fellas dare do...I slapped the everloving shit out of that pilot's helmet to get his attention. I got it. He freaked and quickly opened the canopy back up. I briefly "counseled" him on what he almost did and how messy it would've been (good thing he could barely hear me above the noise) and sent him on his way. I scored a huge bruise across my back AND a couple of cases of beer from the pilot when we got back to base.
Don't know anything about a permanent list to port. That must have happened after I left about a year after the hostage crisis. Boy, did I have fun in all those ports. :)

 
Funny F'ing story Chivvalry! :lol: Those F'ing SP's must have wet their F'ing Pants! :clapping:

Laughed my Ass off on yours Monkin, until I flashed back to Warren Beatty getting told to Squeel like a Pig!! Then I stopped laughing! :unsure:
Ned Beatty you goofball...now ya giving us squids a bad name
:poster_oops: Damn! You're right Mike! It was Ned. I guess I'm still traumatized of the thought of the Banjo Theme remembering those immortal words: You got some Pretty Lips Boy, Now drop your britches and Squeel Like a Pig!!! :eek: :cold: :bad: :fie: :guitar:

 
Burnspot, all those things brought back all those same memories for me. I was a green shirt. Airframes shop but, I got sent to the Flight Deck as a White Shirt Trouble Shooter for my squadron. I still have nightmares of all the Pucker Moments that resulted in me squirting little golden nuggets in my shorts! Ahhhhhhhh The Memories! :lol: I think you guys on the Ranger relieved the USS Midway when it was Decommed. Is that correct?
Heh, yea, there are many of those moments. Now that you mention it, I think we did relieve Midway...that's the one that had a permanent list to port right? I think we did that near Japan IIRC. <snip>
I was in Guam April '75 when Saigon fell, and as a result many of the evacuees were sent there as a staging area. Lots of memories of building the tent cities, but on the Midway - it was loaded up with remnants of the SVAF and brought into Apra Harbor to offload. I still remember seeing it, but as a lowly enlisted on the Proteus, we were in port/starboard 12 on/off every day of the week, so didn't get much of a chance to dwell on it.

Big thing that saved my arse during those times (vs driving stakes into concrete) was that I had a Government drivers license that I got as a fluke during A school one day when we were off during the week and didn't have anything to do. That little card saved me alot of pain, I'm telling you!

 
I won't mention being sent to the Boatwain's Locker for bulkhead remover, relative bearing grease, and propeller wash.

and under no circumstances will describe being on the Mail Buoy Watch standing on the forcastle in 10-15' seas with a retrieval pole being sent back & forth to the bow as directed.

 
One of the long time traditions in the navy when two vessels pass each other, is the ship (or sub on the surface) with the junior commanding officer renders honors to the senior commanding officer.

This happened in the summer of 1989, the submarine I was serving on, USS Florida SSBN 728 (Gold Crew) was entering Long Beach California port to do a mini re-fit. We were on the surface transiting up the channel, when coming the other way was the USS Missouri BB-63 (battleship) heading out to sea. I was on the conning tower (bridge for submarines on the surface) with the Officer of the Deck and our Commanding Officer. Below decks they were doing a frantic check of whose commanding officer was senior. Turns out both had graduated from the Naval Acadamey the same year and were promoted the captain the same year in the same increment. It came down to which one graduated higher at the acadamey, which was our captian.

I got to witness a very rare instance of a surface ship, the mighty MO, rendering honors to a submarine. Very cool.

Second sea story, I was in my 4th year of 5 on the submarine and had been fully qualified everything for almost 3 years. I had qualified the most senior enlisted watches in the engineroom (Engineering Watch Supervisor when the reactor is operating and Engineering Duty Officer - when the reactor is shutdown). I was board so I decided to go up front and qualify Chief of the Watch - the senior non-nuclear trained watch up forward. Because nuclear trained electricians maintained the entire electrical distribution systems on board submarines, I qualified very fast as I had a very strong working knowledge of the forward systems.

About a month after I qualified, we were scheduled to do a Tractical Readiness Exercise (TRE) out of Pearl Harbor. The exercise is a surface carrier group palying war games with us simulating us as an enemy submarine. All the while the TRE board has put us in a box and is running causalty drills (fire, flooding, etc...) while the task force is hunting us. P3's dropping sonobouys like htey were candy everywhere, other ships using active sonar, and other submarines looking also. Usually there were about 10 other ships looking for us.

Another part of the exercise is oral interviews with the examing board. All of the qualified Chief of the Watches had to be interviewed. Since I was the most recent qualified Chief of the Watch I was the first interviewd. The Board also wanted to see me operate the ballast control panel (BCP) during a causalty drill set. The BCP controls all water movement on board the submarine as well as nuetral bouancy of the sub. Needless to say the interview was a piece of cake. Nuclear trained folks go through thsoe all the time and constant testing and drilling for readiness.

 
I won't mention being sent to the Boatwain's Locker for bulkhead remover, relative bearing grease, and propeller wash.

and under no circumstances will describe being on the Mail Buoy Watch standing on the forcastle in 10-15' seas with a retrieval pole being sent back & forth to the bow as directed.
Give that man a BA 1100 N and send him to get some frequency grease for the ST-1. Now there's a sight to see! :lol: :lol:

Reminds me of the time the Comm squad NCOIC, (they were next door to my armory), sent a FNG over to me for a can of frequency grease. The Prive shows up and hands me a standard request form with space for a dozen approval signatures at the bottom and written in at the top is "Frequency Grease - (1) Can".

I look at the form, make a show of going over to a locker and opening it, checking, then coming back and I tell the Pvt "I'm sorry, we only have two cans left, you're going to have to get S-4 to sign off first." I make a note on the form that a Qty of (2) are remaining in stock and sign off, sending the kid about 3 miles off to the S-4 office. (This was on Okinawa, an island 60 miles long) Then I forgot about it for the rest of the day.

Much later that afternoon I get a call from the Base General himself, Brig. Gen. JJ Went, whom I had met when I took over the unit armory, (which is another story). He's yelling at me over the phone, asking why the hell did I send this private up to his office over a can of frequency grease!?

Turns out it was an exceptionally slow day on Okinawa for the Marines. Later I got the full story. The pvt goes to the S-4 shack and hands his request to the E-4 there. The Cpl looks at it and says "whoa, that's above my level" and passes it off to the Sgt, who declares "You're going to have to get the SgtMajor to buy off on that" and sends him over to S-1 with a call to get an appointment to see the SgtMajor. Now Top was a cranky old bastard that had been in forever. You know the type, coffee cup fingers in a permanent crook, etc. Not known for his good moods or ability to deal well with jokes. Note that the S-1 shack was another 100 yards up the road.

The pvt gets in to see the SgtMj and hands him the request. Top looks it over with his grizzled jaw set in stone and with out a word, picks up the phone and calls the XO. "Captain, we have a critical shortage and we need to to examine the issue". And signs off on the form and sends the Pvt down the hall to the XO's office.

The XO reads the form, and gets up and walks next door to the CO, a full bird Colonel who's favorite saying when it came time for punishment was "You will receive the maximum". "Hatchett" Jack Cunningham. Next the XO calls the Pvt in and leaves. The CO reads carefully over the request form.... ponders the situation..... and tells the Pvt "This is serious shit! You're going to have to go up island to see the Chief Warrant Officer in charge of island stores." Then he sends the poor kid out to his house mouse to get directions. It's a 30 mile bus ride, then look for the building with the big flags, (the base general's buidling), then ask for directions again.

The kid finds the bus, spends the next two hours on it, gets to the correct base, finds the general's building and goes in. The receptionist listens to him, reads the form, and makes an appointment for him to see the CW04 in charge of Island stores for all of the Marines on Okinawa. He has to wait until almost the end of the work day to get in to see him.

When he finally gets in to see the Chief, the Chief Warrant Officer reads the form, notes all the signatures indicating further permission is required, looks the kid in the eye and tells him "Two cans? how the **** did this happen? There's only 5 cans on the whole damn island now! WTF? You're going to have to see the old man." Then he picks up the phone and calls the base general and tells him there is an urgent request pending that must be dealt with today before end of business and he's sending a Marine right over for his decision.

The kid hustles down the hall.... where the red carpet begins and things get really quiet... and is shown into the General's office by his waiting receptionist.

The General takes the form, reads it, shakes his head and gets up from his chair, walks around his desk and puts an arm around the terrified Pvt's shoulder and says "Son, what's a frequency?"

Poor kid stammers out something about radio waves to communicate with.

The General then says "Can you grease a frequency?"

Pvt says in a stutter "I, I, I d-don't think so Sir"

General replies "Son, you've been had. Now go back to your unit."

About 15 seconds later, I got a phone call. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 
:poster_oops: Damn! You're right Mike! It was Ned. I guess I'm still traumatized of the thought of the Banjo Theme remembering those immortal words: You got some Pretty Lips Boy, Now drop your britches and Squeel Like a Pig!!! :eek: :cold: :bad: :fie: :guitar:
Geez Magic! What is it with you and things up the @ss??!!

 
I won't mention being sent to the Boatwain's Locker for bulkhead remover, relative bearing grease, and propeller wash.

and under no circumstances will describe being on the Mail Buoy Watch standing on the forcastle in 10-15' seas with a retrieval pole being sent back & forth to the bow as directed.
Give that man a BA 1100 N and send him to get some frequency grease for the ST-1. Now there's a sight to see! :lol: :lol:

Reminds me of the time the Comm squad NCOIC, (they were next door to my armory), sent a FNG over to me for a can of frequency grease. The Prive shows up and hands me a standard request form with space for a dozen approval signatures at the bottom and written in at the top is "Frequency Grease - (1) Can".

I look at the form, make a show of going over to a locker and opening it, checking, then coming back and I tell the Pvt "I'm sorry, we only have two cans left, you're going to have to get S-4 to sign off first." I make a note on the form that a Qty of (2) are remaining in stock and sign off, sending the kid about 3 miles off to the S-4 office. (This was on Okinawa, an island 60 miles long) Then I forgot about it for the rest of the day.

Much later that afternoon I get a call from the Base General himself, Brig. Gen. JJ Went, whom I had met when I took over the unit armory, (which is another story). He's yelling at me over the phone, asking why the hell did I send this private up to his office over a can of frequency grease!?

Turns out it was an exceptionally slow day on Okinawa for the Marines. Later I got the full story. The pvt goes to the S-4 shack and hands his request to the E-4 there. The Cpl looks at it and says "whoa, that's above my level" and passes it off to the Sgt, who declares "You're going to have to get the SgtMajor to buy off on that" and sends him over to S-1 with a call to get an appointment to see the SgtMajor. Now Top was a cranky old bastard that had been in forever. You know the type, coffee cup fingers in a permanent crook, etc. Not known for his good moods or ability to deal well with jokes. Note that the S-1 shack was another 100 yards up the road.

The pvt gets in to see the SgtMj and hands him the request. Top looks it over with his grizzled jaw set in stone and with out a word, picks up the phone and calls the XO. "Captain, we have a critical shortage and we need to to examine the issue". And signs off on the form and sends the Pvt down the hall to the XO's office.

The XO reads the form, and gets up and walks next door to the CO, a full bird Colonel who's favorite saying when it came time for punishment was "You will receive the maximum". "Hatchett" Jack Cunningham. Next the XO calls the Pvt in and leaves. The CO reads carefully over the request form.... ponders the situation..... and tells the Pvt "This is serious shit! You're going to have to go up island to see the Chief Warrant Officer in charge of island stores." Then he sends the poor kid out to his house mouse to get directions. It's a 30 mile bus ride, then look for the building with the big flags, (the base general's buidling), then ask for directions again.

The kid finds the bus, spends the next two hours on it, gets to the correct base, finds the general's building and goes in. The receptionist listens to him, reads the form, and makes an appointment for him to see the CW04 in charge of Island stores for all of the Marines on Okinawa. He has to wait until almost the end of the work day to get in to see him.

When he finally gets in to see the Chief, the Chief Warrant Officer reads the form, notes all the signatures indicating further permission is required, looks the kid in the eye and tells him "Two cans? how the **** did this happen? There's only 5 cans on the whole damn island now! WTF? You're going to have to see the old man." Then he picks up the phone and calls the base general and tells him there is an urgent request pending that must be dealt with today before end of business and he's sending a Marine right over for his decision.

The kid hustles down the hall.... where the red carpet begins and things get really quiet... and is shown into the General's office by his waiting receptionist.

The General takes the form, reads it, shakes his head and gets up from his chair, walks around his desk and puts an arm around the terrified Pvt's shoulder and says "Son, what's a frequency?"

Poor kid stammers out something about radio waves to communicate with.

The General then says "Can you grease a frequency?"

Pvt says in a stutter "I, I, I d-don't think so Sir"

General replies "Son, you've been had. Now go back to your unit."

About 15 seconds later, I got a phone call. :lol: :lol: :lol:



The kid needs his ID 10 T form filled out and shipped home

 
The kid needs his ID 10 T form filled out and shipped home
He was a bit slow. About a week later he came asking for a BA 1100 N and I inflated one and gave it to him. He just gives me a blank stare. "What am I supposed to do with this?" You asked for a ballon, you got one. "Why are they always picking on me?" I resisted the urge to tell him he was an idiot, so instead I explained that this is training. "You will kill someone if you keep on this way. You must know what it is you are going after before you run off to get it. If you don't, then in combat you're likely to come back with the wrong thing at a critical moment and get someone killed, or get yourself killed." He finally got it. Still not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he did finally learn to ask questions before running off, and at least try and think for himself now and then. I think he spent most of his career as a wire runner, which has a short life expectancy in combat.

Do they even run comm wire any more in this digital age?

 
..........

The General takes the form, reads it, shakes his head and gets up from his chair, walks around his desk and puts an arm around the terrified Pvt's shoulder and says "Son, what's a frequency?"

Poor kid stammers out something about radio waves to communicate with.

The General then says "Can you grease a frequency?"

Pvt says in a stutter "I, I, I d-don't think so Sir"

General replies "Son, you've been had. Now go back to your unit."

About 15 seconds later, I got a phone call. :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: Ah, the memories!

 
:poster_oops: Damn! You're right Mike! It was Ned. I guess I'm still traumatized of the thought of the Banjo Theme remembering those immortal words: You got some Pretty Lips Boy, Now drop your britches and Squeel Like a Pig!!! :eek: :cold: :bad: :fie: :guitar:
Geez Magic! What is it with you and things up the @ss??!!
Heyyyyyyy! I was a victim of circumstance! :unsure:

 
Like Movies?

Think the most fun movie I ever saw was Dr. Strangelove (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb). I saw it for the first time in the base theater full of SAC Missile men. Talk about cheers and jeers, Slim Pickens got a standing ovation when he rode the bomb out of the bomb bay.

 
A little late to the ballgame, but US Army 84-87. As a 64C (Truck Driver) I was assigned to the Xero copy room to provide copy support to the entire base, which by the way for my entire 3 years was Schofield Barracks in the horrible duty station on the Island of Oahu of our 50th state. It was a rough life! :D

My final year in paradise I was the post commander's driver. He was a full bird colonel who was a base facilities commander instead of a troop commander. He was also an avid golfer, as was I. He was a 33 year vet with 3 tours of 'Nam and was on his retirement assignment. On Wednesday morning of the first week I worked for the colonel he called me into his office. Of course I snapped to attention, smartly saluted and said "Yes Sir!" He asked me, "What time is our tee time today Specialist?" I said, "Excuse me sir, but I wasn't aware I was suppose to make us a tee time." He replied, "Let me ask you a question Specialist. Do you want to be a Colonel's aide or just some fucking jeep driver?". Of course I replied, "Well, uhh, a Colonel's Aide, Sir". He proceeded to tell me that if I wanted to be a colonel's aide then he suggested that I have a golf match set up for us EVERY Wednesday at noon. I snapped to attention and said, "Yes Sir!" Then I proceeded to take the old bastard's money most every week for the next year. I loved kicking his ass on the golf course and it pissed him off - but in a way he enjoyed playing golf with the young whipper snapper. We had a lot of great times on the golf course where we pretty much left the rank in the parking lot. I think he really hated to see me ETS. In a way, I did too.

 
A little late to the ballgame, but US Army 84-87. As a 64C (Truck Driver) I was assigned to the Xero copy room to provide copy support to the entire base, which by the way for my entire 3 years was Schofield Barracks in the horrible duty station on the Island of Oahu of our 50th state. It was a rough life! :D

My final year in paradise I was the post commander's driver. He was a full bird colonel who was a base facilities commander instead of a troop commander. He was also an avid golfer, as was I. He was a 33 year vet with 3 tours of 'Nam and was on his retirement assignment. On Wednesday morning of the first week I worked for the colonel he called me into his office. Of course I snapped to attention, smartly saluted and said "Yes Sir!" He asked me, "What time is our tee time today Specialist?" I said, "Excuse me sir, but I wasn't aware I was suppose to make us a tee time." He replied, "Let me ask you a question Specialist. Do you want to be a Colonel's aide or just some fucking jeep driver?". Of course I replied, "Well, uhh, a Colonel's Aide, Sir". He proceeded to tell me that if I wanted to be a colonel's aide then he suggested that I have a golf match set up for us EVERY Wednesday at noon. I snapped to attention and said, "Yes Sir!" Then I proceeded to take the old bastard's money most every week for the next year. I loved kicking his ass on the golf course and it pissed him off - but in a way he enjoyed playing golf with the young whipper snapper. We had a lot of great times on the golf course where we pretty much left the rank in the parking lot. I think he really hated to see me ETS. In a way, I did too.
Damn Bandit, that was some SWEET duty there! You lucky Bastard! :lol:

 
If we want to talk sweet duty here is my story. My last job on Okinawa was the elected president of the base motorcycle club at Kadena AFB. I was in charge of maintaining the race tracks and club buildings. The other and best part of the job was that I was the guy that did the testing and the one to sign motorcycle endorsements. It was great when a first term guy with a bad attitude could tell an officer where to stick it when he failed the test :yahoo:

We had a real active racing program with tracks at Kadena and Naha. Later on Suzuki came in and put a motocross track on the island. I would have stayed in if they would have let me in the motor pool to fix shit but they said I was needed to keep building bombs so I figured they didn't need me.

 
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