Why I Am So Awesome

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James Burleigh

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As usual my 5-yr-old Widder heated vest stopped putting out heat after just a couple of rides this winter season. I had returned it several times over the years to Widder to repair, but of course they're outta business now. So a couple of nights ago I was just about to finally throw it out.

But then I figured if I was going to throw it out anyway it's be a no-lose proposition to open it up and perform an autopsy. In particular, I figured maybe there was a lose or disconnected wire near the prongs where you plug the cord that runs from the bike battery. Then I could just fix it and then presto-changeo!--Bob's your uncle!

I got on my hospital-green gown and latex gloves and laid the patient out on the workbench, which I had sanitized with a couple of swipes of a whisk broom. I then grabbed a pair of scissors and made a delicate 4-inch-long incision in the internal lining just to the right of the prongs at the base of the vest. Oh f**k! :eek: I cut through a good wire. Oh well, I can splice that if I need to.... :(

weird-al-yankovic-like-a-surgeon-webcastr.jpg


I carefully spread apart the black lining to reveal a film of white gauze through which ran two small black wires coming off the prongs. Spliced onto the black wires was a series of smaller white wires. Hello, I said to myself, what's this? Right where I had made my incision I spotted some black gooey melted crappy sh*t right at the point where a couple of the white wires connected into a black wire.

I performed a vasectomy on the black gooey melted crappy sh*t, cutting it out and splicing the wires back together. After inserting a cardiac stent in the form of a wire nut and wrapping it with electrical tape, I got some surgical-grade brown duct tape and closed the patient up. Then I put the vest on, plugged it all into the bike, and fired it up.

And then I felt the heat radiate from the vest, which is why I am so awesome. B)

 
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I always wondered why.

Is it on Plavix now?...... ;)

p.s. I'd like to see a pic from the back of that gown. No, wait. I wouldn't.

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Aw Jim, you were awesome even before you were playing [Doctor] with yourself....

Wow, North American winter is soo-o-o-o long...

:devilsmiley:

 
Nice work on doing a Vestsectomy Dr. Burleigh. :clapping:

 
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Good for you JB!

Say, my 1991 Widder quit working too.

What say you ride down here tomorrow and fix for it for me?

:p

 
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