Woodpecker Joke
- Thread starter Zorlac
- Start date
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RadioHowie
I Miss Beemerdons!
Oh **** me, that's funny!
I immediately stole that and emailed to a dozen friends.
Good Job!
I immediately stole that and emailed to a dozen friends.
Good Job!
Khunajawdge
Toto El Mundo!
A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the
Hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.
Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually
became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about
his appearance.
One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine
Sergeant Major for his personal staff.
The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview.
At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything
different about me?"
The Master Chief answered, "Why yes sir. I couldn't help but notice you are
missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing
on that side."
The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.
The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question,
answered, "Well yes sir, you seem to be short one ear."
The Admiral threw him out also.
The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate,
extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs
put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question.
"Do you notice anything different about me?"
To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, "Yes, sir. You wear contact lenses."
The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful
Marine. "And how do you know that?" the Admiral asked.
The Sergeant Major replied, "Well sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with
only one ******' ear."
Hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.
Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually
became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about
his appearance.
One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine
Sergeant Major for his personal staff.
The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview.
At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything
different about me?"
The Master Chief answered, "Why yes sir. I couldn't help but notice you are
missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing
on that side."
The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.
The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question,
answered, "Well yes sir, you seem to be short one ear."
The Admiral threw him out also.
The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate,
extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs
put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question.
"Do you notice anything different about me?"
To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, "Yes, sir. You wear contact lenses."
The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful
Marine. "And how do you know that?" the Admiral asked.
The Sergeant Major replied, "Well sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with
only one ******' ear."
Auburn
Well-known member
YEARLY PHYSICAL
During my physical, my doctor asked me about my daily activity level,
and so I described a typical day this way:
Well, Yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight
beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down
several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of
quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and took four
'leaks' behind big trees." Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"
'No,' I replied, I'm just a very ****** golfer."
During my physical, my doctor asked me about my daily activity level,
and so I described a typical day this way:
Well, Yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight
beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down
several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of
quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and took four
'leaks' behind big trees." Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"
'No,' I replied, I'm just a very ****** golfer."
