I think that the FJR's ABS may have helped somewhat in your situation, but I fail to see how any perceived "better handling" of the FJR would have come into play. Let's face facts: It doesn't sound like you rode the V-Star to its full potential, so surely, you would have been lacking on the FJR also. As mentioned before, since the FJR is so much faster, you may have actually put yourself into a worse situation compounded by added speed.
First: As said before, go to a class. Not trying to be judgemental, but it doesn't sound like you know how to ride a motorcycle very well. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you accept your level of ability, ride accordingly, and work to improve. One instance of having to run off the road because you lost control, and another of crashing because you lost control, along with another scare, all within 1500 miles says something for your skill, and you need to make adjustments.
Second: Learn your brakes, whether ABS or not. You should have known a long time ago what it would take to lock up the rear tire on the V-Star and what it would do when you did. You waited until you were in a full panic and then it was too late. You needed to have the ability to bring the bike to near lock up, know it's coming, let off a little and do it again. That comes with practice.
Third: Use both your front and rear brakes. This notion that you shouldn't use the rear unless you are in a full panic stopping situation is simply wrong. If you don't use your rear brake on a "normal" basis, you won't use it in an emergency either. You will be depending on muscle memory to save your ass, and your muscles will have the wrong memory.
You should initially ride with your right toe covering your brake pedal. If you begin to brake hard, the forward inertia will actually bring you down to your brake, and you should engage it. If you don't believe me, try it. Also see how the braking force feels with just the rear brake (poor), just the front brake (still poor, but better), and with both brakes (best). You will then understand that both brakes should be used when you stop.
Fourth: Practice in parking lots and empty roads. If you grab too much and crash in a big empty parking lot, that's way better than doing it in the middle of a busy intersection. You should know what your bike will do and how it will feel when you grab the brakes. You should know how it will feel if you go full throttle at different speeds in 1st, 2nd, etc...
Last: Wear your gear. You're lucky your not more seriously injured. Turns out riding in a t-shirt, fleece pull-over and jeans isn't as cool as you thought. At least you seemed to have learned that part.