I can not tell a lie...or can I?
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Your first bike should be one that won't matter too much when you drop it. The same cannot be said of first wives. Most of us did drop our first bikes.
Practicing the necessary skills to become a safe rider will be alot easier on a lighter, less top heavy bike. Then when you graduate to the DREAM MACHINE you can let your lady learn to ride the little bike. Yes, I know.. but it might be a different lady by then.
Derek
Practicing the necessary skills to become a safe rider will be alot easier on a lighter, less top heavy bike. Then when you graduate to the DREAM MACHINE you can let your lady learn to ride the little bike. Yes, I know.. but it might be a different lady by then.
Derek
FatNakedGuy
Well-known member
Kick her to the curb bro. I'd personally be much happier with a bike between your legs. Women like that annoy me.
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odot
CC member # 17,----- DUP member # 7, mensa club m
Suuuuuuuuuuure.....all kinds of good advice in here. But, not the best. You clowns are telling him to leave the love of his life. This is his first motorcycle apparently. A man in his forties with no motorcycle experience buying an fjr with over a hundred horsepower. Wow...looks pretty simple to me. This dude needs to wake up....give up trying to live like he is twenty, move on and get married and pump some kids out. Otherwise, he will be single and dead the first week he gets this motorcycle.
odot
CC member # 17,----- DUP member # 7, mensa club m
Question: What is the average age of a dead motorcyclist and why is he dead?
6 years of dating, 14 months of living together, surely other issues had come up in this time on which you did not agree. How did you resolve this ? I personally would freak if my husband (to be or not to be, that is the question ) said he was getting a FJR as his first bike, get a 600 or anything smaller than the FJR. But be that as it may... this is no way to start a married life together. Sit her down, talk to her, explain why you feel the need to own a bike, then listen to why she does not want you to have a bike. If her reasons are purely selfish, like "you will never be home any more, I will have to take out the garbage and bikers are scum" well then you have the answer, you are not compatible.
I have been a happy pillion rider for many years and the best part of it is the silence (I do not want comms) and the stops to discuss the beauty of the areas you have just been through. Hope your intended changes her mind.
Lynda
I have been a happy pillion rider for many years and the best part of it is the silence (I do not want comms) and the stops to discuss the beauty of the areas you have just been through. Hope your intended changes her mind.
Lynda
nusman68
Well-known member
AND hunt & kill!! Oh, I'm sorry; obviously you've never been through a divorce......
I bet the girlfriend in question really doesn't care to know anything about motorcycles....but that might change...does she have a sister that might like to ride? :lol:
FJRocket
Doctor Throckenstein !!!
Yes, we had other issues, but when my ex-wife told me that I COULD NOT buy an airplane, that was the end. Final straw. That kind of ultimatum just tossed on the final straw. Even after she agreed that flying lessons and some commuting by airplane was a good idea.
And I hadn't even started back riding again. If she only knew.
If she can't understand that you (like she) has other passions and desires in life, and is unwilling to support you and share with you (or at least be tollerant), then you have other issues.
Tread lightly, my friend, and I'd be very hesitant to enter into anything "binding" until you get passed this dilemma.
And I hadn't even started back riding again. If she only knew.
If she can't understand that you (like she) has other passions and desires in life, and is unwilling to support you and share with you (or at least be tollerant), then you have other issues.
Tread lightly, my friend, and I'd be very hesitant to enter into anything "binding" until you get passed this dilemma.
1. FJR- as very first bike ever ??, (to add to others) sounds like an accident waiting to happen, and you will drop it. Try a 750 Shadow or something and take a motorcycle course if you haven't. If not (I'm only being honest), I will read about you in the news later. Death is forever.
2. Girlfriend - Your choice but sounds like giving in now is misery and trouble later. 6 years is nothing. Sit down and think about her. Is this the girl ?
Is the bike a dream that needs doing. You only live once.
Before I got married I said, "No kids for me, always motorcycles and certain toys, accept it now or walk".
We have an awesome marriage and we both compromise on many things, but we don't limit each other.
This came up on my sympatico home page;
What kind of standards do you hold your relationship up to? Generally we have instincts that tell us whether we're in a positive relationship or not, but a lot of people live by some rather misguided perceptions of what a healthy relationship is.
These relationship myths are quite pervasive in our culture and have been passed down for years. Let's take this opportunity to clear the air and do some relationship 'myth busting'.
Love is enough
Oooh, we're starting with a biggie.
I'm a hopeless (helpless / hapless) romantic myself. It would be really nice if this one were true. We'd like to think that the love between two people can surmount all kinds of odds and obstacles, but there are severe limitations to that kind of thinking.
In the real world, where I sometimes live, differences about things like: money, family, long-term goals, kids (the list could go on a lot longer) can be deal-breakers.
External forces have a huge impact on our lives. To dismiss them is to be naive. While love can definitely help you get through some things, it's not enough in and of itself.
Your partner should be your best friend
One question - WHY?
Your best friend should be your best friend; your DOG should be your best friend. Your partner should be your partner.
That doesn't mean that there's no intimacy between the two of you. It doesn't mean that you can't share. It just means that you have a different relationship than you do with everyone else. That's a good thing.
Best friends exist so you can complain to them about your partner. If your best friend and partner are the same person, you've got a bit of a problem on your hands.
A healthy couple doesn't fight
Show me a couple that doesn't fight and I'll show you a ticking time bomb.
Fighting is healthy. Remember, it's not IF you fight - it's HOW you fight that is important. Arguments are differences of opinion. These differences make us unique and resolving a fight is how we continue to learn about each other.
And let's not forget about make-up sex. Although, don't do what I once did and tell your partner that you're "really looking forward to the make-up sex" in the middle of an argument.
If you're in love, you won't find others attractive
This one makes me howl with laughter, but it's amazing how many people believe it - or at least say that they believe it.
Look, being in love with someone doesn't mean that you suddenly go blind to beauty. Appreciating someone else's beauty does not equal wanting to be with them. As long as you're not making your partner feel inadequate, there's nothing wrong with pointing out someone else's attractiveness.
A healthy relationship has nothing to do with sex
Sex is incredibly important in a relationship. While the frequency of sex does tend to dwindle over time in a long-term relationship, the intimacy that comes from sex is hard to match.
In this case, we don't have to limit the term 'sex' to mean 'intercourse'. A display of affection in the form of kissing, touching, etc. is matchless in making us feel loved and secure.
Also, sex is fun - you heard it here first!
A good couple should be interested in the same things
It's important to have some similar interests. But, it's just as important to have different interests that you can take part in separately.
Don't try to make yourself like something just because your partner likes it. Faking it will lead to resentment and problems down the line. Personally, I can't help but think about all the money I wasted on those ballroom dancing lessons - yeesh!
I'll be happy once he/she changes
This is one of the biggest relationship myths around. A partner is NOT a project. The only thing you can change is yourself. Being involved with someone you would like to fundamentally change is a dead end street. Ask yourself this: "If I want this person to change who they are, then why am I with them in the first place?"
No one is perfect. You should make a point of accepting your partner's flaws and focus instead on celebrating what you admire and respect about them.
Keep myth busting
It takes courage and commitment to be involved in a relationship. Don't go jeopardizing a good thing by adhering to a false set of hand-me-down standards.
2. Girlfriend - Your choice but sounds like giving in now is misery and trouble later. 6 years is nothing. Sit down and think about her. Is this the girl ?
Is the bike a dream that needs doing. You only live once.
Before I got married I said, "No kids for me, always motorcycles and certain toys, accept it now or walk".
We have an awesome marriage and we both compromise on many things, but we don't limit each other.
This came up on my sympatico home page;
What kind of standards do you hold your relationship up to? Generally we have instincts that tell us whether we're in a positive relationship or not, but a lot of people live by some rather misguided perceptions of what a healthy relationship is.
These relationship myths are quite pervasive in our culture and have been passed down for years. Let's take this opportunity to clear the air and do some relationship 'myth busting'.
Love is enough
Oooh, we're starting with a biggie.
I'm a hopeless (helpless / hapless) romantic myself. It would be really nice if this one were true. We'd like to think that the love between two people can surmount all kinds of odds and obstacles, but there are severe limitations to that kind of thinking.
In the real world, where I sometimes live, differences about things like: money, family, long-term goals, kids (the list could go on a lot longer) can be deal-breakers.
External forces have a huge impact on our lives. To dismiss them is to be naive. While love can definitely help you get through some things, it's not enough in and of itself.
Your partner should be your best friend
One question - WHY?
Your best friend should be your best friend; your DOG should be your best friend. Your partner should be your partner.
That doesn't mean that there's no intimacy between the two of you. It doesn't mean that you can't share. It just means that you have a different relationship than you do with everyone else. That's a good thing.
Best friends exist so you can complain to them about your partner. If your best friend and partner are the same person, you've got a bit of a problem on your hands.
A healthy couple doesn't fight
Show me a couple that doesn't fight and I'll show you a ticking time bomb.
Fighting is healthy. Remember, it's not IF you fight - it's HOW you fight that is important. Arguments are differences of opinion. These differences make us unique and resolving a fight is how we continue to learn about each other.
And let's not forget about make-up sex. Although, don't do what I once did and tell your partner that you're "really looking forward to the make-up sex" in the middle of an argument.
If you're in love, you won't find others attractive
This one makes me howl with laughter, but it's amazing how many people believe it - or at least say that they believe it.
Look, being in love with someone doesn't mean that you suddenly go blind to beauty. Appreciating someone else's beauty does not equal wanting to be with them. As long as you're not making your partner feel inadequate, there's nothing wrong with pointing out someone else's attractiveness.
A healthy relationship has nothing to do with sex
Sex is incredibly important in a relationship. While the frequency of sex does tend to dwindle over time in a long-term relationship, the intimacy that comes from sex is hard to match.
In this case, we don't have to limit the term 'sex' to mean 'intercourse'. A display of affection in the form of kissing, touching, etc. is matchless in making us feel loved and secure.
Also, sex is fun - you heard it here first!
A good couple should be interested in the same things
It's important to have some similar interests. But, it's just as important to have different interests that you can take part in separately.
Don't try to make yourself like something just because your partner likes it. Faking it will lead to resentment and problems down the line. Personally, I can't help but think about all the money I wasted on those ballroom dancing lessons - yeesh!
I'll be happy once he/she changes
This is one of the biggest relationship myths around. A partner is NOT a project. The only thing you can change is yourself. Being involved with someone you would like to fundamentally change is a dead end street. Ask yourself this: "If I want this person to change who they are, then why am I with them in the first place?"
No one is perfect. You should make a point of accepting your partner's flaws and focus instead on celebrating what you admire and respect about them.
Keep myth busting
It takes courage and commitment to be involved in a relationship. Don't go jeopardizing a good thing by adhering to a false set of hand-me-down standards.
I hear your pain Bikepoor. For years after I got married I put off buying a bike just to avoid the scenes I imagined I'd go through on the home front. Finally one day I said screw it, went out and bought one and rode up the driveway with a huge smile on my face - 
...and a chin dropped to the ground on hers
After no more than a few weeks and 4-5 rides on the wench-bench my lady says to hell with this nonsense: "if you're not the lead dog the view is always the same" - I want one too. What a dumbass I'd been for all those years (still am for that matter 'coz I still can't figure her out).
Now if only I can get her to wear proper protection... and upgrade to something than can keep up with the Feejer
...and a chin dropped to the ground on hers After no more than a few weeks and 4-5 rides on the wench-bench my lady says to hell with this nonsense: "if you're not the lead dog the view is always the same" - I want one too. What a dumbass I'd been for all those years (still am for that matter 'coz I still can't figure her out).
Now if only I can get her to wear proper protection... and upgrade to something than can keep up with the Feejer
Dickf
Well-known member
My! There are a lot of posts to this thread.
1. Motorcycle riding is unusually dangerous, and the rider has a limited ability to control the danger. If I had a kid, I doubt if I would let him/her ride. I did ride with two kids and a wife in the household, but I don't think that was a responsible thing to do. Think of dumping your paralyzed ass on you old lady with a couple of kids. I know most riders don't want to thinks about this.
2. The whole thing reminds me of a posting I read a while back, where the guy had wrecked his bike and was posting because he hurt too bad to do anything else. He said is girlfriend would leave him if he bought another bile. He said, "I guess I'll have to help her pack..."
3. This delemma has been deat with before, of course. Read Rudyard Kipling's, "The Betrothed". Prolly find it on the net. The whole thing is good, but this part is probably familiar:
"A milion surplus Maggies are willing to bear the yoke;
And a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke."
Hope this helps, but probably nothing will.
Lotsa luck,
Dick Frederick
1. Motorcycle riding is unusually dangerous, and the rider has a limited ability to control the danger. If I had a kid, I doubt if I would let him/her ride. I did ride with two kids and a wife in the household, but I don't think that was a responsible thing to do. Think of dumping your paralyzed ass on you old lady with a couple of kids. I know most riders don't want to thinks about this.
2. The whole thing reminds me of a posting I read a while back, where the guy had wrecked his bike and was posting because he hurt too bad to do anything else. He said is girlfriend would leave him if he bought another bile. He said, "I guess I'll have to help her pack..."
3. This delemma has been deat with before, of course. Read Rudyard Kipling's, "The Betrothed". Prolly find it on the net. The whole thing is good, but this part is probably familiar:
"A milion surplus Maggies are willing to bear the yoke;
And a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke."
Hope this helps, but probably nothing will.
Lotsa luck,
Dick Frederick
RadioHowie
I Miss Beemerdons!
What your future (?) wife is trying to tell you, in a not-so-subtle way, is
Run, Grasshopper.....run like the wind.
Run, Grasshopper.....run like the wind.
madmike2
Shtirrenuppenmeister
Its your life, do what you want. One note of caution, I do think you should spend a year or so on a used SV650 or something else lighter and more controlable than the FJR. Since you are a "newbie" to the current technology, I guarantee you this bike will run away with you and get you into trouble mui pronto "!
As to your personal relationships, its your future...I spent 10 years with a controlling woman, in fact, I do believe the lovely and beautiful ex-Mrs. Madmike2 is available.....if you want someone to be manipulative and tell you what to do for the rest of your life. Seriously, the dynamics of your interpersonal relationships are none of our business.
As to your personal relationships, its your future...I spent 10 years with a controlling woman, in fact, I do believe the lovely and beautiful ex-Mrs. Madmike2 is available.....if you want someone to be manipulative and tell you what to do for the rest of your life.
Seriously, the dynamics of your interpersonal relationships are none of our business.
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Randy
Well-known member
Go to the custom t-shirt place and have them make you a custom t-shirt that says
"My girlfriend said it's her or the bike - I'm sure gonna miss her"
"My girlfriend said it's her or the bike - I'm sure gonna miss her"
vdoguy
Well-known member
This is an amazing thread! So much insight, some beautiful sentiment and a lot of very good food for thought. I'd never thought I'd read so much wisdom learned through pain and experience on a bike forum!
I sure hope that bikepoor is still out there reading and assimilating all of this.
I sure hope that bikepoor is still out there reading and assimilating all of this.
I tried to tell my daughter's fiance that a Dayona 600 wasn't a good first bike too. He didn't listen either. less than 24 hours later... more than $1500 in plastic damage from low siding through a corner (local housing addition at low speed).
He was in the BRC course the next week and I think I heard the light blink over his head.
My recommendation? Get a used, nekkid bike for a first bike (and older EX500?). Dropping it will be a hell of a lot cheaper. You *will* drop it.
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luvtoride
My Indian name is "Pants On Fire"
I agree with this statement... although, I may not totally put it like Dana expressed. In a sense I definitely feel he is spot on.
If you let it go & do what you please, she may even let it slide THIS TIME... and maybe she won't, too.
Anyway, this is showing how things will be handled in the future. If you're ok with taking the chance & making the choice of a bike, be prepared for the consequences.
Enough about all of that, though. As stated before, this isn't a beginner's bike. Really, it's far from it. If you're really serious about riding take the SMART road. Buy a smaller bike for a year or so & hone your skills before jumping on a 600 lb bullet with a seat that's very top heavy at low/no speed & expensive to fix when you drop it or dump it at speed... never mind what you could do to yourself. Search the site & look at some of the accidents experienced rider have had on this bike... not to say that would happen to you, either. The chances of it happening to an inexperienced rider is greater, though.
Sorry to be a buzz kill. After all this is my .02.
Peace & good luck to you in the future.
Heidi
