Irish Taxidermist

[Dr. Rich]

A guy walks into a bar in West Virginia and orders a white wine.

All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up from their beer and whiskey, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north.

The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

The guy says, "No, I'm from Ireland."

The bartender says, "What do you do in Ireland?"

The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in the hell is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"

"No," says the Irishman "A taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi, I mount animals."

The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us."

 

[FarWestFastEddie]

That Irish Lad would fit right in with the Forum boys!

FWFE

 

[Surly]

I'm a mountin man, I love mountin women.



Best regards

Surly

h34r:

 

[mcatrophy]

I'm a mountin man, I love mountin women.

As far as I remember, the ending of the film means it doesn't belong in the "Jokes and Fun Stuff" area. Unless your idea of fun is very different from mine.

 

[rushes]

I'm a mountin man, I love mountin women.

Best regards

Surly

h34r:

fixed

 

[mcatrophy]

I'm a mountin man, I love mountin women.

Best regards

Surly

h34r:

fixed

Now, that looks like a much happier end in - er - ending.

 

[Surly]

I'm a mountin man, I love mountin women.

mcatrophy, on 18 March 2011 - 02:38 AM, said:

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."

The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the *******s." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy..

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Jokes about the war on terror are funny?

Have a good weekend.

Best regards

Surly

 

[mcatrophy]

[No message]

 

[Donal]

While we're on the subject of Nationality:

Angela Merkel arrives at passport control in Athens.

"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.

"German," she replies.

"Occupation?"

"No, just here for a few days".

Don

 

[PanAmerican]

Nigel Mansell, British F1 champion, upon entering Australia was asked by immigration officials if he had a criminal record. Nigel responded, "I didn't realize it was still required."

 

[Surly]

Nigel Mansell, British F1 champion, upon entering Australia was asked by immigration officials if he had a criminal record. Nigel responded, "I didn't realize it was still required."

:huh: :angry2: :lol:

Frek thats criminal. Come on over.

Best regards

Surly

h34r:

 

[kolonial72]

Nigel Mansell, British F1 champion, upon entering Australia was asked by immigration officials if he had a criminal record. Nigel responded, "I didn't realize it was still required."

I don't give a damn if that story's true or not, it's funny as hell.

 

[Bustanut joker]

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Just like Qe. a lotta noise but .....

I've soiled meself again.. :haha: :lol2: :rofl:

 

[Khunajawdge]

[i really don't now why? But, here's another one;

IRISH SAUSAGES

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them; they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.

Murphy said “Hang on, I have an idea.”

He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.

Shamus said “Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money at all!”

Murphy replied, “Don't worry - just follow me.”

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

Shamus said “Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!”

Murphy replied, with a smile. “Don't worry; I have a plan, Cheers!”

They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, “OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.”

The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus said “Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killing me!”

Murphy said, “How do you think I feel? I can't even remember which pub I lost the sausage in.”

 

[philellis123]

I'm a mountin man, I love mountin women.

That was hysterical!! Thanks for posting!