Lost my Mother

[SkooterG]

Sorry to hear of your loss, Hal. And sorry too, of the way she went. And glad to that it is all finally over.

Try to remember the best times.

 

[Khunajawdge]

Hi Hal

Sorry to hear about your Nana. Hang in there Bud, your memories of her at her best will get you through.

 

[Steel]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[DailyCommuter]

Very sorry for your loss

 

[Pete Bansen]

Very sorry for your loss. What we leave behind in the people that we touched and the difference that we made in the world is our legacy. It sounds like she did a very good job of that.

Pete Bansen

Truckee, California

 

[johnny80s]

Hal if there is anything I can do please let me know. Best wishes to you and your family.

 

[exskibum]

Very sorry for your loss, Hal. I can empathize -- I lost my Mom March 24. It's not an easy adjustment.

 

[wheatonFJR]

From my own experience...I know that Mother's Day gets a whole new meaning when they aren't here to wear the corsage, or to fix their favorite meal (with all the good smells from the kitchen) for their family, or to open that card from you that never says quite what you want it to say...

 

[doug5551]

Thanks for posting this, Hal.

I am glad I got to meet her very briefly while she was on a walk last year. You and her have both been in my thoughts for a very long time, and will continue to be. I have certainly learned a lot from you.

Wishing you lots of good thoughts.

 

[Panman]

Bernice, may you rest in peace. Hal sounds like you did the best you can, so rest easy as she is in good hands. My prayers and thought to you and yours.

 

[BikerGeek99]

Condolences to you and your family, Hal.

 

[bluejag]

Hal Very sorry for your loss. our thoughts are with you and your family. My mother the same way, and as you had stated it is brutally heart wrenching to be a part of.As family we try so hard to make it easier,for them but it just finds another way beat you down. A slow and very mean disease.We are a family of 9 (two twin sisters now gone,Too early) our mom was the glue, she took care of all of us but when the time came (yes we took the best care of her we could) but we could not help her battle this monster. As Barb we assumed rolls out of need to help her cope. We truly understand your families loss.. before and now after her passing God bless JAG

 

[squeezer]

:sadsmiley: Very sorry to hear of the loss. Good people should not have such a difficult end. I pray she's at peace and that you'll find it again too.

 

[Patriot]

Hal, your reaching out, your empathy to unknown folks who somewhere are dealing with those issues...is in the best qualities your Mother instilled in you...she is very proud of you

Funny, I seem to block out the "horror and trauma" over time and unconsciously choose to remember the good, funny stuff

My Mom went downhill fast during the evacuation and fleeing from a ****** named "Katrina". She had experienced a minor stroke a few years before, moved in with me for 6 mo for at home therapy, and had moved back into her Catholic Charities elder apartment. She was physically fine, but suffered a bit of short term memory loss. Then 100mi away from Nawlins', she dropped into a lump on the motel room floor with a more serious stroke.

Two years later, she was permanently in a nursing home near my Big Bro's and my home in the suburbs of Nawlins'.

We visited her often and brought anything she wanted which was always Cokes, soup, fruit, and goodies. She always recognized us, but got the grandchildren mixed up when they weren't able to visit except for holiday time. She then found enjoyment when watching TV, especially some athletic event, deciding it was a family member doing the sport or game. My cousin became the Ice Skater, my Uncle the Football quarterback, etc. I learned to just go along with it and we had great enjoyment together when Uncle Charlie won the Super Bowl !!!

My brother had a harder time not thinking this was pitiful until he put himself into a child's world and remembered Christmas and the magic of making the world anything you want. It was all Mom had anymore, and to me, she was the nicest, excited, positive (dare I say "lunatic") around. The staff told me storys of wonder at her imagination, but sensitivity that she knew when to listen, when to talk, and when to express her magical world. She entertained herself for hours.

Now, there's the dependence on others for all her personal hygene, medication, etc...but my role change from son to parent, as difficult as it was, is tempered by her childlike magic. I remembered one evening after I fed her dinner, I said it was time for me to go. (I tear up) She asked me to tell her a "story" before I left and she went to sleep. I asked her what kind of story did she want to hear. She said something about "bears" as she thought someone else always told me bear storys when I was growing up. I flashed to my Dad (who had died 20 yrs ago) having to tell me over and over the story of the "3 Bears" as it was my favorite.

I tried to give it all the emotion Dad used to with voices and inflections I knew how. Those are memories I like to hold and not the finding her unconscious on the floor, or screaming as they extracted an impacted tooth, or wheeling her in to a "test room" at the hospital without me.

I too am quite moved by all the posts and feel closer to my cyber friends all over again.

Mike

in Nawlins'

 

[03silverbullet]

Soory to hear about your mom - Very scary disease.

I watched the link you provided and there seems to be hope in the future.

 

[Jer]

Hal, sorry to hear of your loss. I understand how painful it is to loose a loved one. My mother passed away from cancer 4years ago and one of my brothers and I cared for her the last month until the end. I lost my younger brother at the age of 67 to alzheimer's last summer. Ted worked as a department head in Caterpillar's business offices and started showing signs of the disease in his early 50's. He was retired at 55 and we watched him slowly lose his identity and knowledge of his family. His mother became that nice lady. His passing was a blessing because he had been gone for several years and I was finally able to grief.

I guess I am trying to tell you that I understand what you and your sister had to go through and death is at the last a good thing. But the Mother you knew and the brother I knew are still with us in our memories.

 

[FJRBluesman]

Hal - My deepest condolences to you and the family. Losing a family member let alone your mother is hard.

Blessings to you and the family.

 

[dcarver]

Hal, your understanding of the entire situation, whatever it might be, always astounds me.

Be sure to allow the emotional component to run course too, it's as important, if not more so, than the mental.

..but you know that.

Anything you need, Hal.

Don

 

[FJR-RemingtonRider]

Hal, thanks for sharing.

Alzheimer is a very difficult disease to endure as a family member.

My Aunt(Raised me and 3 sisters from 2yrs to adulthood)suffered from it. When I was age 11 and each of my sisters graduated

and moved to Los Angeles, CA with our mother; each year she seemed to get a little more forgetful and mean spirited.

When I hit 14 and was alone with her and my uncle, it was extremely difficult. Back in 1982, not many folks knew

much about the disease. We just endured a lot of turbulent times, I could evade, however my uncle bore the grunt

of her symptoms. For six long years, until she passed in her sleep; it was a tough and difficult battle, to watch this otherwise

very healthy woman at age 63; totally change from a loving, caring, nurturing woman into a non-trusting, skeptical, alter-ego.

Many may not understand why you and your siblings were relieved, even when you explain it as well as you have, but

I certainly do. My prayers of encouragement for you and your family members.

 

[SacramentoMike]

Hal, it's just another voice offering condolences and understanding. Alzheimer's doesn't take your life, but it takes your life away from you just as surely, and in such a painful way to see, watching someone you love just disappear inside herself. My Dad tried to do everything for my Mom her last few years, and it was such a burden on him and all of us. We often wish and hope for a long life, but too often find it comes at a very high price. Sincere sympathy to you and your family.