ponyfool
Well-known member
My 12 year old decided with a group of his friends that they were going to be Snap, Crackle and Pop from the Rice Krispies for Halloween. Apparently, the girls in his school suggested it, and so it became!
This Saturday, I'm at a soccer game talking with the mom of one of the other kids (I think he's going to be Snap). She's telling me all of the intricate details her son is going through to make this costume.
At home, I ask my son what he's done to prepare his costume, and he gets a blank, very scared look on his face and exclaims how he completely forgot.
Now, if this was just him, I'd say, OK, lesson learned. But, his two friends are depending on him as well. Plus, since this is his first year in middle school and he is already sort of freaked out about how some of his friends have migrated to other friends (never mind that he has gotten new friends too), I decide to help him out.
I did the first thing any dad would do in this situation. I said, "Go ask your mom for help." But, I forgot that she has another big paper due on Tuesday in addition to some other commitments, she wasn't going to be able to help.
I get on the internet, find a picture of the characters (picture below) and think to myself, "how hard can that be?" So I write down a supply list based on the picture and head to the fabric store. That's right, I was in a fabric store.....by myself. Now, having never actually been in a fabric store, I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I knew what I needed, but had no idea how to find it. Drop me in a new style Home Depot, and I'll find exactly what I'm looking for in seconds, but this was unchartered territory.
With picture in hand, I start to wander the aisle aimlessly. It wasn't more than 3 minutes when a rather unattractive woman approached and asked if I needed any help. I asked where the felt fabric was not knowing of course that I was trying to refer to fleece (felt, fleece, what's the difference). But, she was very nice and pointed me in the direction.
I get to the fleece department and I'm looking at rolls and rolls of fleece. Standing there with a stupid look on my face, I'm approached again, this time by a really attractive woman who said, "You look lost." I showed her the picture and told her what I was trying to make and somehow, within 2 minutes, I had 4 women, all would qualify as MILF's, eagerly helping me gather materials and telling me how to get to the cutting table.
I'm old, getting fatter, and nothing special to look at, so I was bewildered to find this kind of attention. I go home and tell my wife and she says it doesn't surprise her too much. She said it's kinda like the straight male elementary school teacher that isn't a ********* - all the women teachers look at him like they share a common interest, and hey, he's straight and not interested in the kids type thing. She closed with, "Now you know where to go if something ever happens to me. Forget the bar scene or library, go to a fabric store and tell them you're trying to do something for your kid, they'll be all over you!"
So, there you have it. Who knew that a fabric store is the MILF depository???
Here's the costume I'm making for my kid. So far, I've only gotten the hat done, but it's coming along I'll have the jacket and pants done by this afternoon I hope. I'm not making the shoes, gloves or face stuff.
This Saturday, I'm at a soccer game talking with the mom of one of the other kids (I think he's going to be Snap). She's telling me all of the intricate details her son is going through to make this costume.
At home, I ask my son what he's done to prepare his costume, and he gets a blank, very scared look on his face and exclaims how he completely forgot.
Now, if this was just him, I'd say, OK, lesson learned. But, his two friends are depending on him as well. Plus, since this is his first year in middle school and he is already sort of freaked out about how some of his friends have migrated to other friends (never mind that he has gotten new friends too), I decide to help him out.
I did the first thing any dad would do in this situation. I said, "Go ask your mom for help." But, I forgot that she has another big paper due on Tuesday in addition to some other commitments, she wasn't going to be able to help.
I get on the internet, find a picture of the characters (picture below) and think to myself, "how hard can that be?" So I write down a supply list based on the picture and head to the fabric store. That's right, I was in a fabric store.....by myself. Now, having never actually been in a fabric store, I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I knew what I needed, but had no idea how to find it. Drop me in a new style Home Depot, and I'll find exactly what I'm looking for in seconds, but this was unchartered territory.
With picture in hand, I start to wander the aisle aimlessly. It wasn't more than 3 minutes when a rather unattractive woman approached and asked if I needed any help. I asked where the felt fabric was not knowing of course that I was trying to refer to fleece (felt, fleece, what's the difference). But, she was very nice and pointed me in the direction.
I get to the fleece department and I'm looking at rolls and rolls of fleece. Standing there with a stupid look on my face, I'm approached again, this time by a really attractive woman who said, "You look lost." I showed her the picture and told her what I was trying to make and somehow, within 2 minutes, I had 4 women, all would qualify as MILF's, eagerly helping me gather materials and telling me how to get to the cutting table.
I'm old, getting fatter, and nothing special to look at, so I was bewildered to find this kind of attention. I go home and tell my wife and she says it doesn't surprise her too much. She said it's kinda like the straight male elementary school teacher that isn't a ********* - all the women teachers look at him like they share a common interest, and hey, he's straight and not interested in the kids type thing. She closed with, "Now you know where to go if something ever happens to me. Forget the bar scene or library, go to a fabric store and tell them you're trying to do something for your kid, they'll be all over you!"
So, there you have it. Who knew that a fabric store is the MILF depository???
Here's the costume I'm making for my kid. So far, I've only gotten the hat done, but it's coming along I'll have the jacket and pants done by this afternoon I hope. I'm not making the shoes, gloves or face stuff.
