Think I've lost my pillion

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Here is my take on this!!!!

If it is your time, there is no stopping how it will happen

Herat-attack

Brain Anurism

drive by shooting

Plane Crash

Car Wreck

Cancer

Etc.....

No matter how much money you have, or how well you take care of yourself, when it's time it's time!!!
Exactly my perspective (except about the Herat attack -- never had one of them attack me).

I have NEVER, EVER successfully talked someone out of their fear of a sport I've engaged in, though. Different strokes for different folks, and I'm not about to force anyone to hate something I love.

Could it be that she's always had a fear of riding, but has been riding with you out of her love for you and desire to be with you and make you happy . . . and that the fear has somehow gotten enough reinforcement that she's no longer able to keep it at bay? Or that she doesn't truly LOVE IT enough to keep the fear at bay? The best thing to do is whatever is the best thing for her -- let her find a way to be comfortable -- either with riding or without. The only place I'd draw the line (and I'm speaking only for me at this stage of my life) is at anyone dictating that I not ride or ski or whatever the activity in question. That'd be the only thing that I'd take off the table from the outset -- for all those "living life to the fullest" reasons TAPnTX mentioned.

We'll miss her on rides if she decides to send you off alone.

 
Well, toe, it's all about love. For me the wife is love one and the bike and riding is somewhere down the list. Just keep the #1 love alive and the rest will work itself out. Worst case scenario, riding just became a 'guy' thing. Not the best, but definately not the worst.

 
Bu, bu, but... Who's me and MM gonna flirt with? Surely not you! Put Eve on the party line phone, toot sweet! :)
Flirtin'? It'd be like flirting with one of my daughters! AAAnnnddd, Omigod, I thought T.C. had misplaced Eve.

T.C., I heard a very wise person once say, "You can't be your mate's (S.O.'s) counselor!" Her fear is her own and she has to work through it.

It would be lovely to have some more facts. 30 mph is certainly not enough speed for the bike to "cleave" the deer. And it is possible that the deer jumped and took out the rider. This is the juncture where "fate" or "predestined theology" comes into the philosophical mix. IF it was his time, the deer would have jumped through the roof of a jeep or through the windshield of an SUV/pickup truck/car. Nobody knows or can explain it, his loved ones are having to live through the pain and struggle with the explanations.

You realize that the possibility of permanent damage is one of the elements of riding we all face. Surviving the risk factors are one of the emotional/psychological "highs" we enjoy. We all compartmentalize these issues and place them in a closet in our minds so that we can go and ride tomorrow. Most of our lady friends are more emotionally connected (yep, the old left brain/right brain controversy) and can tend to deal with the options on a different level by a different pathway.

Remember, neither of you is "right" or "wrong" as that construct will place you at polar opposites in an emotional struggle for control. Simply put, you each see this from your own distinct perpectives. If Eve is dealing with this from fear, then perhaps, as has been aptly said before, that the fear was always there, just far below the surface.

Love, patience, respect, time, caring, tenderness and as much understanding as you can muster are the things you must do as she lives through her own anguish.

Let's hope this is temporary.

You're both in my prayers.

M <><

 
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Get her into the car with Thelma Lou... maybe she'll find inspiration amongst the crowd at Reno...
That'd be great, 'cept I recall T & E are driving up making this some sort of honeymoon or sumpin'... If not, Eve is most welcome to ride shotgun with Mrs. Nut. Course, Bob and I will no doubt be in big trouble for sumpin' when they arrive... :unsure:
You should have added....whether you were guilty or not....so sayth the SO's.... :lol:

 
A lot of great wisdom already here which I won't rehash. Never have gotten around to it, but for years have planned to have a riding shirt monogrammed with "Fears for Deers", as they honestly consume most of my attention on the rural/mountain roads we love to ride. A few years ago I decided to turn this over to my Higher Power (no, not you WC) so I just say a little prayer on every ride that HP will keep my lovely wife and any other riding companions safe, and also protect his precious forest creatures from me (aka forest rats etc).

Sylvia is now so relaxed when we tour, that she will twist around almost backwards on the pillion seat (look Ma, no hands!) so that she can video something of interest beside/behind us. What can I say, she believes that between my riding skills and experience, and her tight connections with HP, whatever happens will be meant to happen.

I hope some of this drivel may strike a chord with Eve, but would not be surprised if it does not. I have an irrational dislike of sheer heights, but accompanied my lovely bride 760 steps down into a pitch black underground cave in France last month (over 500 feet vertical). Felt damn good to face my fears and survive! (the fact my 9 year old nephew was scampering down two flights ahead of me, no hands on the handrails, and peppering the tour guide with "why" questions may have helped distract me...)

Eve's concerns are not irrational - they are highly rational. Good luck to you both. Looking forward to meeting you in Reno next month.

 
Course, Bob and I will no doubt be in big trouble for sumpin' when they arrive... :unsure:
Yeah, don't want the womenfolk comparing notes for 5 hours...Bad things, man, bad things....
Here's the semi-official version of the details so far:

Many of you may have not yet heard that Administrator for Assessment and Accountability Rick Gold was in a serious motorcycle accident this weekend. All morning this information has been slowly reaching those who know Rick well, but we wanted to provide all of our principals and school staff with an update on his condition. This is what we knew as of 11 a.m. this morning. We ask that everyone keep Rick and his family in your thoughts.
On Saturday afternoon Rick and his youngest son were riding their motorcycles at about 35 mph in the mountains above Yosemite Valley (approximately 8,000 ft above the floor). Rick was wearing a top of the line motorcycle helmet, and an armored jacket, two facts that most likely saved his life. Without warning a deer bounded from the side of the road directly into the back half of Rick's motorcycle. The impact threw Rick from the bike onto his left side. His son witnessed the accident and immediately sought aid for Rick. About five minutes after the accident an off-duty park ranger came upon them, using his radio system he summoned an ambulance from the floor of the Valley. After about another five minutes had passed, a nurse came upon them as well, and began administering first aid. It took the ambulance approximately 30 minutes to reach them, at which time they transported Rick back to Yosemite Valley. He was then airlifted to Modesto Memorial Medical Center, where he is in ICU. Doctors have recommended keeping him at that location, and not attempting to move him again.

His injuries include (to the left side of his body): broken elbow, broken arm, broken collarbone, broken shoulder blade, broken jaw, broken ribs, head trauma, and swelling on the brain. The good news is that Rick is responding to directives from his unconscious state (which apparently is different than a drug-induced coma). Because of the swelling to his brain doctors have not yet set the broken bones, nor are they able to give him the strongest pain killers available to them. They want to keep him alert enough so they can monitor the brain activity better. They have given his family no timeline as to when they might begin to see improvements, because injuries such as these respond at greatly varying speeds of recovery. We will keep you posted as we hear more.
I still can't believe that that kind of carnage can result from the described impact. I mean, there are probably worse hits delivered weekly in the NFL and everybody hits the showers walking. I've never even seen a deer in CA that would go 250 on the hoof. In the park, maybe though. I heard that the deer wasn't even full grown, like maybe a yearling. Story goes that the deer didn't make it. I much prefer sticking arrows in them to Rick's hunting method....
Can anybody confirm the ability of a GPS unit to act like a black box and record data to confirm speed at time of impact? I don't have one yet, but soon, very soon.

As I was rolling through Yosemite yesterday, I was thinking about the complications of hitting a deer in the park. The questions...."How fast were you going, Mr. Firestine?"

"35, just like the speed limit signs state, sir".

Hmmm, wonder if son wasn't covering for dad a bit in the speed department.

Uncannily, if I had been speeding through the Tuolumne Meadows area, I would have had a very high probability of doing some poaching myself. I was heading down a straight, in the sunlight, and entered a shady area. I just made out some movement in the road ahead which turned out to be the legs of a four-point buck. As I chopped the throttle, he accelerated off the pavement and into a large puddle. Never saw his body in the shadows. Like I said, 50 and it coulda been bad.

It sounds like they were on a paved road, what with the ranger and a nurse happening along like they did. I'm just not buying into the 35 mph w/full gear and that kind of damage. Maybe if the deer was at full tilt, quartering toward the rider, and missed the bike altogether. But it sounds like the deer missed Rick, hit the bike, and he high-sided. It's wild, in an unbelievable sort of way.

I shouldn't have used the term "Argument". I'm not pushing her to get on the bike. Hopefully, she'll be ready for the WFO ride we have planned. But I'm not gonna mention it, or suggest any riding in the meantime. The two-up group may have to find a new leader, since I might not qualify to be in attendance with them. Getting on (or not) is gonna have to be on her timeline. It'd be lonely without 'er, but I'll do what I can to enjoy what's left.

Sorry to hear about Eve's trepidation, Toe. Hope she turns it around. WFO is calling! And we've lected Eve WFO Queen!
Oh, she'll make the scene. Just don't know if she'll be riding on Friday. After the close call on the last group ride, and now this, she might be a casino ornament. But man, just wait for Saturday night's getup (no helmet or fugly air mesh suit) a la Victoria's Secret! Bringing both vehicles has its advantages.
 
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I still can't believe that that kind of carnage can result from the described impact. I mean, there are probably worse hits delivered weekly in the NFL and everybody hits the showers walking.
I can believe the "carnage" since he would have been going over 50 feet a second at 35mph and if he was knocked out by the deer hit and then sailed off the bike into the pavement without being able to do anything to protect himself in the fall -- well, you see the result to the left side of his body. I know someone who hit a deer last September, was ejected off the bike, and had similar injuries, including a ruptured spleen. He didn't remember a thing about the accident but his riding partner saw everything and confirmed that the rider hit the pavement without making any attempt to protect himself.

 
Wow, sorry to hear that -- sounds like one of those freak accidents that reinforces my belief in your time coming or not.

YOU were in Yosemite yesterday (Sunday), Bob?? I came over Tioga from the east -- down to about the 7000 foot level in the afternoon on my increasingly blinged out Blackbird (testing out the new CF hugger and Penske racing shock in the rear, but also taking pictures and enjoying the view). Turned around to head back east at around 3:40. Lotsa LEOS on 395 as I headed back north, and I saw a few performance awards being handed out in the Park too. I was good at all the right times, it seems.

Too bad we didn't coordinate and hook up for a bite or something.

 
I think that even if she doesn't feel like riding on the back right now or at WFO if you just don't push her that after a little while she will start wanting to go for rides again.

Can anybody confirm the ability of a GPS unit to act like a black box and record data to confirm speed at time of impact? I don't have one yet, but soon, very soon.

Well the Garmin 276c and I think most units (if not all) store "Tracks". Those are a record of GPS locations, time since the last one and distance since the last one. So yes it can.

I download it and see how fast I went where, average speeds, ect.

 
mine quite riding years ago because she was afraid we'd both be killed and leave our daughter alone. Sheeeeeesh..
So, we no longer do any dangerous activities like ride in a car, plane or motorcycle or take a shower together, let alone ***.

Hell, we might as well get divorced. Wait a minute - we are.

Nevermind..
Hey, mind if I steal your quote?

I can sure use it!

It's funny as hell! <G>

Mary

 
Wow, sorry to hear that -- sounds like one of those freak accidents that reinforces my belief in your time coming or not.
Like I said before, the dark forces had to strike this close to home to get her scared off the bike.
"Hey, it looks like this guy is having too much fun down there. He and that babe are trapesing all around on that beautiful land speeder. I've got an idea that should put a cramp in his style."

I know, it's not about me....and I feel really bad for Rick and his family. So much so, in fact, I may run up to Modesto Wednesday or Thursday to visit them. Hopefully he'll show some marked improvement soon.

YOU were in Yosemite yesterday (Sunday), Bob?? I came over Tioga from the east -- down to about the 7000 foot level in the afternoon on my increasingly blinged out Blackbird (testing out the new CF hugger and Penske racing shock in the rear, but also taking pictures and enjoying the view). Turned around to head back east at around 3:40. Lotsa LEOS on 395 as I headed back north, and I saw a few performance awards being handed out in the Park too. I was good at all the right times, it seems.
Too bad we didn't coordinate and hook up for a bite or something.
I stopped at the Whoa Nellie Deli about 0945 to relieve and call Eve since I'd left before she woke up. On the way back, I was at the Topaz casino scoring on the last tankful of $2.99 Nevada gas about the time you turned around, then I headed south and over Sonora pass. At least we were both doing something fun, even if not together. The park has some gorgeous scenery right now. The reflection of the morning sun off El Cap was something to behold, but not as awesome as the glassy surface of Tenaya Lake was an hour or so later. Looked like the world's biggest mirror, reflecting the snow dotted peaks and that huge blue sky.
 
Can anybody confirm the ability of a GPS unit to act like a black box and record data to confirm speed at time of impact? I don't have one yet, but soon, very soon.
I believe it was SouthernCruizer in his "Does Radar work on Bikes..." thread that posted segment speeds through a curve where he was given a performance award. The road segment speeds were downloaded from his GPS...

 
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I know, it's not about me....and I feel really bad for Rick and his family. So much so, in fact, I may run up to Modesto Wednesday or Thursday to visit them. Hopefully he'll show some marked improvement soon.
Were it me, I would cage it.

 
I stopped at the Whoa Nellie Deli about 0945 to relieve and call Eve since I'd left before she woke up. On the way back, I was at the Topaz casino scoring on the last tankful of $2.99 Nevada gas about the time you turned around, then I headed south and over Sonora pass. At least we were both doing something fun, even if not together. The park has some gorgeous scenery right now. The reflection of the morning sun off El Cap was something to behold, but not as awesome as the glassy surface of Tenaya Lake was an hour or so later. Looked like the world's biggest mirror, reflecting the snow dotted peaks and that huge blue sky.
Sounds like you were coming through Gardnerville about the time I was coming over Monitor Pass from Markleeville before turning south to go do Tioga (having that annual Park Pass made that feasible). Tanaya Lake was beautiful in the afternoon, as well, but I can only imagine how stunning it was as a glassy morning mirror. Still trying to figure out how to make at least a part of this weekend's Open Passes ride, since the beginning point is too far from here to make by the starting time. Will have to think about catching you guys coming over Sonora Pass. (Or are you out on that ride -- something about the diva?)

 
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Did you know a deer can accellerate from 0-30 in 1.5 seconds?

Can a football lineman do that?

Now I am sure somebody on here could do the math of say a 150lb deer doing say 20mph colliding into a motorcycle doing 30mph and even without the math you can see the destructive force this could cause.

Also motorcycle gear is no where near the protection we should be wearing, heck football equipment has more shoulder, back and chest protection and again Big Ben can tell ya no lineman has ever hit him like the windshield of a car...

Also it is kind of silly and unrealistic to compare any animal and their weight/strength to a human. We are the weakest animal and even your hero football players can't compare to the strength of an ant much less a deer.

Put any football player in a room with a deer and see who wins.

Heck me with full motocross gear, helmet, boots etc simply hitting my brakes and landing on dirt broke my collarbone and rib.

I am more amazed by the people who walk away from a deer strick than to hear of these such injuries.

You're in the job, you should know how fragile we really are.

Buddy of mine got his jaw broke from one punch of an elbow.

We are fragile humans plain and simple.

Your wife is probably the smarter of all of us.

We get the thrill, control, etc as the pilot and she depends on you 100%.

IMHO a pillon has to have even more courage than the pilot and that is probably why it takes a woman to be one. We as males aren't brave enough for that :D

I hope things go well for the Principle and for you and your wife.

 
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Get her into the car with Thelma Lou... maybe she'll find inspiration amongst the crowd at Reno...
That'd be great, 'cept I recall T & E are driving up making this some sort of honeymoon or sumpin'... If not, Eve is most welcome to ride shotgun with Mrs. Nut. Course, Bob and I will no doubt be in big trouble for sumpin' when they arrive... :unsure:
You should have added....whether you were guilty or not....so sayth the SO's.... :lol:

or not???????????? :blink:

 
A lot of sage advise so far. If she's afraid for herself, and she loves you like your past posts indicate, then she's also afraid for you... big time. It's hard to find a good woman... so put the riding on the back burner for a while if that's what it takes. My dos centavos.

As far as the accident, he would've been better off center-punching the forest rat. Since the deer hit the back wheel, I'm guessing it slammed the rider down to the left with a whip-lash effect. All of his injuries were on the left side. I broke 2 ribs water skiing ferchrissakes 2 years ago. The side of the ski dug into the boat wake & whip-lashed my *** down hard.

Good luck bro.

 
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