We don't get to decide....

[hppants]

My Father-in-law had a stroke on Saturday, and another on Sunday. He's lost any mobility on his right side. The doctors don't know why he is having the strokes, and further, he gets occasional bouts of high fever and they don't know what is causing that either. Recovery, if even possible, is months away.

The man is 70 years old - I've known him for 31 years and it's really hard to see him this way. A relatively simple man - he lives for his work. Last week, he worked over 50 hours and I have no doubt that as I type this, he is being tortured by the fact that he can't be on the job now. His slurred speech and overall pain is masking his feelings, I fear. The poor dude now wears a diaper and I can't understand a word he is saying. Pitiful, really.

Enough of my **** - get to the point, Pants.

The point is this.... we don't get to decide. As much as we think we are in control, there are some things in life that will always be well beyond our control. We all have a right to be happy. But it's up to us to exercise that right and DO what it takes. Right ******* now! No more waiting for better opportunities. No more "next time". No more "let me think about it and get back to you...." No more - nothing.

I'm 50 years old. I've earned the life I dreamed about.

You can bet that when this fat *** can't get out and ride anymore, and is forced to wear his diaper, I will have PLENTY of memories to carry me on.

Stay thirsty, my friends.....

 

[rushes]

One of my favorite uncles passed this last week.

My cousin asked him if he had any last thoughts to share.

He said to have fun and make memories while you're able.

Then when you're not able, you have still them.

 

[PJ4863]

Amen brother.. and that's why I'm going to Red Lodge. Beemerdons solidified it for me. He was on the short list of people I wanted to meet, and I missed that opportunity. Not again...

 

[Silverbullet]

The first time my old life long bud and I went to Utah on the bikes back in the 90's, he didn't want to take the time to stop at Bryce. We were heading up the Escalate to Torrey and he wanted to get in early. "Next time" he said. 8 months later, he was dead. He never saw Bryce and I never say "next time" these days.

 

[steveoreno]

Wise words from all of you. Don't count on the future too much, do as much as you can now there is no guarantee you will be around tomorrow. Four years ago I lost my older brother to colon cancer. He had a lot of plans that didn't include an early death.

 

[SacramentoMike]

Sorry your family's got to go through this, Pants, and especially your F-I-L himself. Hope this works out as well as possible for all.

(Kind of hate to see such a young man have this kind of fortune. Since I'll be hitting the big 7-0 myself in June.)

 

[LKLD]

Couldn't agree more Pants.

 

[TomInPA]

• No one is guaranteed tomorrow JSNS

 

[mcatrophy]

Sorry to hear this.

Some years back my F-I-L had a stroke. He was 83. Day before he was re-roofing a garage, by himself. Maybe that was something to do with it, maybe not. Unfortunately he never really recovered, he lasted about two years.

Then a few years ago my daughter's F-I-L had a stroke, he was 68 or there abouts. He passed on after three years.

Both were fully sentient, neither had any real mobility.

I sincerely hope yours makes a better recovery.

Hmm. I'm 74 in August. Hate the thought of happening to me.

 

[BlacknWhite23]

Pants,

Sorry that your family is going threw this tough time. The more I see / hear stuff like this the more that I need to live like that myself. Those are truly words to live by.

 

[Intech]

That is exactly why I decided that next October I am semi-retiring. I will only be 59 1/2, but I will be able to draw on my savings without penalty. I want more memories while I can get them.

And Joey, I am thirsty.

 

[hppants]

I appreciate the well wishes. The truth is that he and I were never close. He's an honorable man, and I like him good enough. But he affliction for his work never left room for anything else in his life. If he is to recover at all, he has got to come to terms with his inevitable and immediate retirement.

I guess seeing him like that hit me like a baseball bat. I got back to my vehicle and was in some kind of stupor. A sense of urgency overwhelmed me. Selfishly, I started reciting my bucket list in my mind.

Life is too dog gone short, man. I'd hate to believe that I've got only 20 years left on this roller coaster, but the truth is, I can't guarantee myself 20 more days.

Bob - you and I fish in the same hole. My wife and I can retire in 3 years. I'm probably too restless to stop all together, but cut back to part time and play more? No problem.

There was a time when living for the future made perfect sense for me. Many of you are there now. Raising small kids, working and scraping and struggling just to get to next month, etc. Whether that was the right thing to do doesn't matter - it's done. That time has passed. Now its OUR turn - and there is no holding back anymore.

It's going to be a gorgeous Spring day. I think I will go for a ride. The yard work will wait until tomorrow. Or the day after that....

 

[AlleyCat]

'It's going to be a gorgeous Spring day. I think I will go for a ride. The yard work will wait until tomorrow. Or the day after that....'

hppants

---------------------------------------------------

And Bingo !!! That is the reality of it all.... there are only so many hours in a day. Enjoy !!!

 

[SwollenRaccoon]

'It's going to be a gorgeous Spring day. I think I will go for a ride. The yard work will wait until tomorrow. Or the day after that....'
hppants

---------------------------------------------------

And Bingo !!! That is the reality of it all.... there are only so many hours in a day. Enjoy !!!

Exactly. What everyone else said already. My yard has weeds. There are household items that need attention, though none are an emergency, like sparks or leaking water. **** gets done, just not maybe as fast as some. It's not going to say "Well, he had a nice lawn" on my tombstone. Enjoy today. One more thing (regarding "chores" and such)...........Never put off until tomorrow that which can be put off until the day after tomorrow.

Good luck, Pants. You're a good man.

 

[Chiefblueman]

As a healthy 62 year old in pretty good shape, I've been planning to do lots of things when I retire at planned age of 65. Ride the Washington backcountry discovery route on my KTM 950. Continued excursions on my beloved FJR. (last summer did Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, Chief Joseph, Beartooth).

Gonna take my lovely wife on a European cruise. Finally joined the Gym at work to get into better shape so I can enjoy more things.

February I got my wake up call, delivered like a punch in the snoot. Cancer, a rare form of lymphoma called Waldenstrom's Macroglobulinemia. I had joined the gym because I was becoming easily winded, must be out of shape. Turns out I'm severely anemic, low red blood cells, low oxygen, bone marrow half gone. Yikes!!!! Been living on transfusions for a couple months. Weak as a kitten a lot of the time.

Good news - while incurable, the outlook for a long remission is good and the cancer is slow growing. My doc says it's likely I will live a normal lifespan with relapses and remissions. I will continue to work when I can through treatment for the next 6 months. I'm a lucky guy, great woman, top notch care, double coverage benefits. Seattle is about the best place in the country to have cancer. I got paid for toys, I got time.

Does this change my retirement plans? You damn betcha! As soon as I'm making my own red blood cells I'll have no restrictions and work will be in my rear view mirror. Never have I seen a tombstone that read "Geez, I wish I could have worked more".

So ride, 'Pants. Ride like the wind. I'm right behind you.

 

[Bounce]

Had a good friend who had a stroke while walking back across the street from a neighbors house. They found him in the middle of the road and over time they pieced together what had happened. He might have recovered from the stroke (and was showing good results from the PT) but when he fell, he hit his head and had some brain damage that kicked in. He had a hard time expressing himself and, for a man who was a great communicator and woodworker (in his recent retirement) it was very frustrating. He would lash out a friends and family in bursts of anger and frustration that we all knew were either the side affects of the trauma or the frustration of trying to recover. When the brain trauma started kicking in, all his progress fell by the wayside. 1 step forward. 2 steps backward. It was hard on us all to lose such an interesting, vital friend.

For the past 10 years I've been dealing with an aging mother with COPD and multiple chemical sensitive disorder (MCSD). During that time she's been hospitalized for a TIA and a breathing event that finally resulted in her getting full time O2. I had been encouraging her to do so for the past 5 years and was rebuffed at each point. Until the O2 entered the house, she continued to smoke her Paul Malls, drink coffee, and sit in the dark at the kitchen table watching crime dramas and the ever-repeating news shows. Until my brother moved back from the PNW, I was the sole caregiver (although 250 miles away). Her MCSD means she can't move into a facility (or even our house) because exposure to any number of environmental things can trigger an asthma attack in a woman with a 30% lung capacity on a good day. Living like on the top of Everest while refusing O2 has lead to memory and cognition problems so sorting out her version vs the context of what really might have happened can be stressful. Meanwhile, this strong, vital woman has changed. She's not only infirm of body but will take every little comment made by anyone, gnaw on it for days, and finds some negative spin.

This past year my wife had to deal with breast cancer and recovering from the treatments (ugh, don't get me started). She is now cancer free and in the maintenance stage of daily pill taking (and monthly/quarterly visits to the medical or surgical oncologists) for the next 5 years. Thursday was her last day at work at a place where she made it through multiple rounds of lay offs, an office relocation 45 miles away (we're convinced it was to create attrition), and finally an "early retirement offer" that, if she applied for it meant her position was vacated and, if not approved, she would be without a job (vs not applying for it with another round of lay offs just around the corner). The amount of stress she's been under isn't fare to her. What did she do wrong to anyone ever? Up until now, Iggy has been the only one on the list to know.

But she's cancer free and retired. Her annuity is half the size of what it should be which she can't access for another 5+ years or it's half of that. By then she'll be close to drawing SS so that will also help. I retired 3 years ago (more than 3 years after I could have but 5 years earlier than I had planned) and my retirement will pay the bills but I have to act like I'm a pauper "just in case". Plans have been put in place for assisting her and her fractional annuity if I pass first so we're much better off than a lot of people out there.

No new bikes. Rare trips (Denver 2 years ago for the IBA National was the last one). We're going to a movie next week. She smiled when I asked her what her plans were on Thursday and answering, "Nothing." That's not a bad thing.

Learn to find good things wherever you can. Cherish those who are still with you while you still can.

Here's to a speedy and full recovery to everyone on this thread with health challenges.

--edit--

Geeze! What a morose MF!

 

[ionbeam]

Strokes are terrible. Father-in-Law (trend?) was painting the house one day, the next day MIL calls and says that Meryl won't get out of bed and won't talk to her. We tell her to immediately dial 911 and call us back and confirm she has done this. Same as 'Pants situation. Left side carotid artery causing right side symptoms as 'Pants reports. Slowly over the next several days the symptoms were starting to get better and there was hope. A week later after the stroke, one day too late, we are informed that the second stroke he had was quite common but none the less they didn't catch it. He then had much more severe symptoms that never got better. He lived ~12 years after the stroke and never was able to speak or walk.

The type of stroke he had was classic smokers stroke resulting from near complete occlusion of the left carotid artery.

A second stroke will commonly happen roughly a week after the first stroke.

Beyond the physical issues that we see like the paralysis and inability to speak is mental confusion and the confusion is what causes bigger issues. He was unable to spell his name using a spelling board, couldn't arrange the hands or numbers on a clock. He wanted to try to communicate but couldn't figure out the words needed to match his thoughts. The inability to match thoughts to words made using a spelling board extremely frustrating and he refused to try. He was cognitive enough of his situation to be unhappy but unable to have any control. They had to put the reverse of a Lo-Jack on his wheel chair, it would automatically lock the facility's doors as he approached, preventing him from escaping (again) and trying to go home. Eventually he came to accept the situation and his life improved even though his situation did not.

The affected family needs to contact legal help RIGHT NOW to protect their property and money. Failure to do this ASAP could possibly result in them losing everything to a nursing/rehab center. If he isn't coming home this absolutely needs to be done. If he is coming home they will need some type of home help for a long time and the home will need some modifications.

This is a terrible situation for everyone involved. Best wishes to everyone for a good outcome. If there is no second stroke the chances for significant recovery is there; if you pray, now is the time.

A stroke is a light switch problem. Fine right now, and in a totally unexpected instant everything is horrible.

 

[bigjohnsd]

Pants, Sorry to hear of your FIL issues.

Hope your new attitude means we will see you in Red Lodge this June

Best Regards

 

[hppants]

Well, I'm humbled by your words, my friends. Certainly, things can always be worse. Bounce - you have had a run of pretty crappy cards. You have my sympathies and believe me - I was reading between your lines. Thanks for your post.

I didn't ride the bike yesterday, with good reason.

(Wifey) "Boy, I sure am craving P.F. Changs. We should go there soon for lunch."

(Pants) "Let's go right now."

(Wifey) "Drive to Baton Rouge (60 miles)?"

(Pants) "Absolutely. Get dressed, we are out of here. And after lunch, we can go by the dress shop you like and pick you out something nice."

We got home and the yard was still a mess. But MIRACULOUSLY, the house was still standing and BION, the sun actually rose today - straight out of the east.