I can not tell a lie...or can I?

[ronjrieth]

Dude....let me play this back to you...You have been together SIX years....you are nearly 40....Now you are ready to ride and she is ready for kids...hmmmm.

and...let me get this straight...you are going to tell her that you are getting a bike in SIX months and it will be a knock down drag out battle...

Ok, you are going to get the living crap kicked out of you for six months...while you WAIT for a motorcycle....!?

IF your heart is set on riding...go buy a bike tomorrow and start riding....sell that bike when your FJR comes in. By then....you will know if you can cooexist with your S.O. while you are riding.

If you are going to yield to her concerns about your riding while she wants to have kids (not entirely unreasonable I might add) then see how much you love or hate her after about three months...

WhatEVER you decide....hold off on the marriage till you resolve this

Ride Safe

 

[Califcruiser]

The question is: Just how much do you really love her? Is she worth giving up YOUR dreams and passions that she doesn't agree with? This is what she is asking you to do. I understand she cares for you and doesn't want you to get hurt but you have to live man! Is it possible that she had a negative past experience with motorcycles?

We take risks everyday, whether riding, driving, flying or even taking a cruise. If this is truly your passion, go for it!

As far as the FJR being your first bike, it was my first streetbike also. I have ridden dirtbikes my whole life and finally made the decision to go to street. I looked at the 600's but they just didn't do it for me. I did look at a couple of cruisers, V-Star, Roadstar, HD's, etc. but they didn't do it either. I made the decision to go with the FJR and do not regret it one bit. 1 year 3 months and 9,650 miles ( OK guys I only have a 1.2 mile commute to work so I ride on weekends only) later I am soooo glad I made the decision.

But you must take the MSF course. You will benefit bigtime by taking the class. I still use some of the tips and I'm sure I always will. Good luck with your decision!

 

[oldlogdog]

1.  FJR- as very first bike ever ??, (to add to others) sounds like an accident waiting to happen, and you will drop it.  ...

(hmmm do they mean you're not supposed to drop them? I thought that's why they have soft plastic sides and SS cans ?!,,,)

 

[ZZR12]

To She Who Lurks: Come on honey, you MUST have something to say about this thread! Now sign up and jump in here!

 

[FJRider]

Bikepoor - To address your initial question, lieing won't help. Forget that approach totally, as you're just putting a band-aid on the problem.

If she's hard-over against bikes in general, ask yourself this question, "Are you ready NOT be true to youself? And for a long damn time (i.e., perhaps forever)?" If she's not flexible on this, what else isn't she going to be flexible on? If you give in, and riding is really important to you, it end up eating you up inside (and you'll turn into a major wimp). Everytime you see a bike go by you'll be pi##ed off at yourself for not standing your ground, which will only create friction in the marriage. Perhaps it's a good time to re-evaluate your whole situation.

Personally, I'd run like hell! My wife has ridden bikes nearly her whole life. She currently rides a Z750S. Half the fun of being married is us being interested in the same activties. Good luck with your decision! (Do you own good running shoes?)

 

[OrangevaleFJR]

She's a woman....  If she layed it out like that right from the get go...    Give her the Get gone...    I have been with many woman, and everytime they try to deny you of something you passionately want to do.... They are on a Control Freak mission...  I promise you that this will not be the first thing she will tell you what you can and can't do...
Order the Bike, and send her on her way...      There are tons of women out there...

Seriously, What will the addition of adding a Bike do to the relationship...

There are plenty of women out there that will drop their pants just to be able to go riding on a fine machine...    like the FJR  !!!

Im 38 and I got 3-4 girls callin me to go riding on a regular basis...  and I have a 14 year old that I raised all by myself... 

Just remember, A very close friend of mine, died of a massive Heart Attack, at 51...

Live life to its fullest... 

Warp

+1 except I have a wife that loves to ride with me and is toying with the idea of riding a bike herself. The control thing WILL NOT stop at the bikes. She'll make you be what she wants you to be, not what you want to be. RUN!!! No RIDE away on the FJR and count your blessings that the ultimatum came before it cost you 50% of a house and 18 years of dealing with an ex and the kids you spawned in an abusive relationship!!!!

Be picky and find a girl that will be happy with you. If they aren't, go lookin' some more. Worked for me! I'm happy

 

[yanktar]

As far as my relationship...that is a whole other website/forum. Have you ever seen King of Queens? My girlfriend would chew Carrie up and spit her out. But enough of that...thanks again for all the response!

Hate to tell you this, but the relationship thing IS the WHOLE issue. The bike is just a thing. It could be a parcheesi board, or a trip to Martinique, or season football tickets for every Sunday home game. Or just going fishing.

My brother had a friend who married a woman who HATED everything he loved--but she reminded him of his mother :blink: She then proceeded to make his life pure hell whenever he did anything he enjoyed. This guy was a bookworm whose greatest joys were browsing bookstores or discussing---ANYTHING! You couldn't carry on a conversation with him with her in the room--she was an obnoxious pain in the butt who would put up a tantrum for ANYONE deviating from what she wanted. So he couldn't go to bookstores. Couldn't go out for a cup of coffee with a friend (like my brother). Couldn't have a discussion about ANYTHING. They had two kids and she was deliberately raising them to be as warped as she was. The guy was utterly, completely miserable--and had NO way out (it takes strength/desperation to leave). Everything he loved was destroyed--and he let it happen. Last time I talked to him (must be 15-20 years ago) he was bitter and whiny and NOTHING like the guy I once knew.

She wasn't even good-looking--she was obese and ugly and even dirty (as in not washed). When I think of hell on earth I think of those two--especially him.

 

[bikepoor]

Wow, I really never expected such a response, but thanks to all. In a perfect world I would not have had to pose such a question. When my brother bought his HD his wife threw the big fit...he bought it anyway and now she is always begging him to take her on rides. One of my good friends didn't ask his wife...he bought a new V-Star last year and drove it right home and put in the garage. She won't ride on it at all...but that is fine with him (in fact more than fine).

It's not to say that the point of "put that 14grand into an investment" is bad. But as I tried to expain to her...it is an invest in me. Life is just to short to have ALWAYS wanted something, in reach no less, and not attempt it.

Yea, she is a control freak sometimes, and I think she may even be Satan somedays. But when we are on, were on, and I have never met anybody I can have as much fun with as her. I have also been around the block enough times to know that the next one may be better...but could be worse.

Ok...time to kill this thread and save the relationship talk for DR Phil and get back to motorcycles. I need to pick up all the tech tips from you experienced FJR riders.

Ordering the new bike Friday...I can't flippin wait.

 

[Toecutter]

Ordering the new bike Friday...I can't flippin wait.

You go, boyyyy! Way to man up! Oh, and the FJR thing - Don't worry, just stay within your limitations. Read, take training classes, repeat. You WILL drop it eventually. Get some sliders on it and go!

 

[twowheelnut]

You WILL drop it eventually. Get some sliders on it and go!

Said the man who said, "Oops!"

 

[sparky3008]

I see you have made up your mind but will share anyway.

My wife when we first met didn't like guns or motorcycles.

I had always had guns but she was scared of them so what did I do, finally talked her into going shooting with me. She doesn't really like to shoot but she's not so scared of them anymore. She knows that I know what I am doing and continue to take classes (can't ever know everything).

Bikes are pretty much the same. She was more scared of them than anything and I bought my third bike (VStar 1100) shortly after buying our house and didn't even ask. She was more mad that I didn't talk to her than anything.

My suggestion would be to go rent a bike if you have your license and get her to go for a ride with you. My wife doesn't care about riding but we went to Colorado and road for two days on a Harley and while she still doesn't care about riding she difinitely could see after that what the appeal was.

Prove in some way that you are a good safe rider and that you can handle it. She is probably more scared of losing you than you know. My wife worries everyday I leave the house on my bike but she also knows she can't stop me.

Good luck and it sounds to me like you've got a good one.

 

[oldlogdog]

What your future (?) wife is trying to tell you, in a not-so-subtle way, is
Run, Grasshopper.....run like the wind.

Pussy rules!

Can't argue with that :angel: :bubba:

 

[RadioHowie]

Just remember...for every gorgeous, hot, to-die-for woman walking the face of the planet, there's a guy who is sick-to-death of her whiney-ass high maintenance bullshit.

 

[madmike2]

+1 on Yanktar's comments. BTDT!

Okay..."sometimes she's like Satan....when we're on, we're on".... Yup, sounds like someplace I've lived before. When its good, its really good, when its bad, its horrible. Now the world's most perfect woman lives in peace and harmony with her daughter. 2 years after the separation/divorce I was talking with my adult daughter. She looked at me and began to cry. I asked her, "What's the matter?" She said, "Two years, and I finally have my Dad back!"

I will never allow another human being to have that much control over who I am and what I do. I was so focused on "our relationship" I lost who I was. Never again.

Enjoy your FJR, and be yourself. Bring 100% of yourself to the table, but do not be less of yourself to make her happy. Her happiness cannot be based on you being less than who you are. That's control and manipulation. Her happiness, like yours and every other human being, comes from within, not from what others do to please.

Oh yeah...order the sliders. #1 priority farkle. Trust us. Scatched plastic: not good and really expensive.

 

[twowheelnut]

My image of his future wifey:

Other Thread

 

[downn2(aka starcruiser)]

If you think your ready to ride at 40....just wait until your 41!!! I honestly think I'd be hitting a homerun to cancel the bike, get all your financial affairs in order, then check with your employer about relocating you to another city, then disappear into the night. In other words, HAUL ASS!! Without a trace, NEVER TO RETURN, NOT SO MUCH AS A CALL!!! MAKE HER THINK YOUR DEAD, otherwise she'll find you and hound you to your grave.......

You'll thank me later.....

P.S. If your stupid enough to go ahead and buy the bike, it will be considered community property under common law which means 1/2 of it will belong to her and when shit hits the proverbial fan...they judge will make you reimburse her 50% (in cash) of the purchase price of the bike.... Why do you think the guys have to sell everything when the get a divorce.....

Good luck and may GOD BE WITH YOU. Cause either way, you're gonna need it...

 

[VMax_03]

I think I was married to that woman in the above thread!! I'm having freaking flashbacks! PTSD!! Yikes!

JW

 

[yanktar]

Oh yeah...order the sliders. #1 priority farkle. Trust us. Scatched plastic: not good and really expensive.

Yup. At least get TOGs. I had the damn TOGs on order--then had a tip-over at the end of my own driveway--$450 for new paint decals, and right side T/S.

 

[Caba]

Good For Ya! Get the bike. If she's worth it you'll work it out.

On the comment about it being your first bike, I would highly recommend getting a cheap 500 cc cruiser to beat up and abuse until the FJR arrives.

Also +1 on the sliders - saved my plastic on a driveway drop.