Things we learn from the movies.

[twowheelnut]

Inevitably, just prior to a critical line in the movie, my wife will ask, "What did she just say?", just as the critical line is being read, causing me to miss it completely, prompting my wife to ask, "What did he just say?" Oy.

 

[Bounce]

Inevitably, just prior to a critical line in the movie, my wife will ask, "What did she just say?", just as the critical line is being read, causing me to miss it completely, prompting my wife to ask, "What did he just say?" Oy.

DVR, d00d!

my wife can be talking for days about wanting to see some flick. on and on. i can bet that within minutes of it starting, she'll start yapping about something that can wait, start babby talking to the cat, or get up and wander around the house doing crap that could wait or could have already been done. i finally got tired of dealing with it and will pause the dvr until she gets a clue (when it's something that interrupts the movie) or just watch it without her (if it's her wandering around the house).

if it's a game, she'll talk through the game and clam up during the commercials. WTF?

 

[uctofeej]

Inevitably, just prior to a critical line in the movie, my wife will ask, "What did she just say?", just as the critical line is being read, causing me to miss it completely, prompting my wife to ask, "What did he just say?" Oy.

DVR, d00d!

my wife can be talking for days about wanting to see some flick. on and on. i can bet that within minutes of it starting, she'll start yapping about something that can wait, start babby talking to the cat, or get up and wander around the house doing crap that could wait or could have already been done. i finally got tired of dealing with it and will pause the dvr until she gets a clue (when it's something that interrupts the movie) or just watch it without her (if it's her wandering around the house).

if it's a game, she'll talk through the game and clam up during the commercials. WTF?

Gunny on the DVR!

I wonder if TVEars block out female voice frequencies...

 

[twowheelnut]

Inevitably, just prior to a critical line in the movie, my wife will ask, "What did she just say?", just as the critical line is being read, causing me to miss it completely, prompting my wife to ask, "What did he just say?" Oy.

DVR, d00d!

my wife can be talking for days about wanting to see some flick. on and on. i can bet that within minutes of it starting, she'll start yapping about something that can wait, start babby talking to the cat, or get up and wander around the house doing crap that could wait or could have already been done. i finally got tired of dealing with it and will pause the dvr until she gets a clue (when it's something that interrupts the movie) or just watch it without her (if it's her wandering around the house).

if it's a game, she'll talk through the game and clam up during the commercials. WTF?

Have the DVR. Doesn't work in the theater, though.

My SO yaps through everything and then asks me what's going on. Must be in the Women's Guide to Nagging and Annoying Your Husband, Premium Unabridged Addition. S'okay, though, I get even... When she's yakking on the phone to one of her cronnies, I start talking to her and asking her questions. :evil:

[Dennis Leary]

I'm an asshole

(He's an asshole)

I'm an asshole,

An asshole...

[/Dennis Leary]

NWS Video for those who don't know the tune.

 

[Silver Penguin]

1. Women always wake up with perfect hair and make up.

2. Homes are always tidy, and decorated like a magazine spread.

3. When an ER patient's heart stops, it can be restarted with a defibrillator (applied through the hospital gown). In reality, a defibrillator can only re-boot the heart from a fibrillatory rhythm (hence it's name). When the heart stops, and someone yells 'Asystole', CPR and epinephrine are needed, but don't have that same camera appeal as a jolting shock.

4. Critically ill people on ventilators don't need to be on monitors, or have the breathing tube secured in any way. When they are extubated, they are immediately wide awake, able to talk and fully coherent.

5. Patients only need one IV, and it doesn't have to actually run.

 

[HaulinAshe]

* Smart victims never disarm the bad guy after knocking him unconscious, nor do they gather the opposition's weapons, ammo, supplies or technology.

* It's never "that time of the month" for hot blondes.

 

[Charlie Hoss]

Along those lines, even though bad guys shoot at you, try to ram you, push you off a plane to kill you, when they finally catch you, they spend at least three of four minutes talking to you. THEN, they come up with some elaborate plan for your demise rather than just put a bullet through your head.

This happens to James Bond about 20 times in every movie. They keep screwing with him and he keeps getting his ass out of a jam. Why don't they just shoot him in the head the first time?

More gun stuff:

Every shot that is fired richochetts...ziiiiiiinnnnnng for at least 3 seconds, especially when fired inside a 20 ft room.

The bullet takes about 2 seconds to hit something after it is fired...in a 20 ft room. A quick hero could reach out and catch it.

The good guy gets it in the arm. It only hurts for a minute.

Its 3 AM, a half hour shootout is in progress. No one hears a thing, the cops don't show up.

Smokes:

Everyone in every movie smokes, even tho it adds nothing to the movie, except....smoke.

And:

The female partner has obscenely large boobs and a low cut top, but the male partner doesn't seem to notice. Neither does their boss.

The wifey/GF wants to rent a movie. You're a nice guy, right? You let her pick it out. She picks a chick flick (Say that 10 times fast). You settle in with the movie and in 15 minutes, she's asleep, leaving you to watch the chick flick by yourself. Could'a been watching something GOOD, like "Wild Hogs" or "Strange Brew".

 

[Scab]

Must be in the Women's Guide to Nagging and Annoying Your Husband, Premium Unabridged Addition.

Yeah, what's up with this? Was this issued out at the wedding shower?

And:
The female partner has obscenely large boobs and a low cut top, but the male partner doesn't seem to notice.

And when they do it, it is always the simultaneous orgasm. Never the real life version of "I got mine, you get yours."

 

[Silver Penguin]

And when they do it, it is always the simultaneous orgasm. Never the real life version of "I got mine, you get yours."

.....and while we're on that subject, how come no-one every showers afterwards?

 

[twowheelnut]

Yeah, what's up with this? Was this issued out at the wedding shower?

Nope, issued by the mother upon graduation from kindergarten. Passes from generation to generation and is updated according to advancing technologies and new sports.

 

[TestPilot]

And when they do it, it is always the simultaneous orgasm. Never the real life version of "I got mine, you get yours."

.....and while we're on that subject, how come no-one every showers afterwards?

Is that a girl thing What's wrong with rolling on your back and falling asleep

Hey, put down that knife :assassin:

 

[Bounce]

This happens [monologuing villain] to James Bond about 20 times in every movie. They keep screwing with him and he keeps getting his ass out of a jam. Why don't they just shoot him in the head the first time?

some of the early bond movies (before they hit their formulaic stride) had bits where bond survived simply because he got lucky. "From Russia With Love" has him nearly killed in the Gypsy camp firefight by someone behind him. Only his collegue's quick eye (and trigger finger) saves him.

 

[Scab]

And when they do it, it is always the simultaneous orgasm. Never the real life version of "I got mine, you get yours."

.....and while we're on that subject, how come no-one every showers afterwards?

Nasty fu****s.

 

[jmarran]

It is in fact possible to outrun a tsunami or fireball/wall of flame for at least 100 yards, giving you just enough time to get 1 foot around a corner. Because we all know, flame doesn't generate heat laterally when in blast situations, and apparently Culligan has softened the oceans' water, so when that 100 ft. wave comes it doesn't do much damage at all.

 

[uctofeej]

This happens [monologuing villain] to James Bond about 20 times in every movie. They keep screwing with him and he keeps getting his ass out of a jam. Why don't they just shoot him in the head the first time?

some of the early bond movies (before they hit their formulaic stride) had bits where bond survived simply because he got lucky. "From Russia With Love" has him nearly killed in the Gypsy camp firefight by someone behind him. Only his collegue's quick eye (and trigger finger) saves him.

Well, thanks for spoiling the movie for me. I haven't seen it yet! :angry:

 

[radman]

Best Bond line ever-

“Do you expect me to talk?” - James Bond

“No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!” - Auric Goldfinger

 

[Bounce]

This happens [monologuing villain] to James Bond about 20 times in every movie. They keep screwing with him and he keeps getting his ass out of a jam. Why don't they just shoot him in the head the first time?

some of the early bond movies (before they hit their formulaic stride) had bits where bond survived simply because he got lucky. "From Russia With Love" has him nearly killed in the Gypsy camp firefight by someone behind him. Only his collegue's quick eye (and trigger finger) saves him.

Well, thanks for spoiling the movie for me. I haven't seen it yet! :angry:

iirc it came out around 1968. yer a little slow.

https://www.klast.net/bond/filmlist.html

nope. 1963

 

[Scab]

Hey, I came out in 1963 too! What a coincidence!

 

[uctofeej]

Well, thanks for spoiling the movie for me. I haven't seen it yet! :angry:

iirc it came out around 1968. yer a little slow.

https://www.klast.net/bond/filmlist.html

nope. 1963

1963? I think my parents were sophomores in high school that year... maybe they saw it.

 

[odot]

Hey, I came out in 1963 too! What a coincidence!

Um....came out of wha? Nevermind.....