First, I can appreciate that your situation is very real, so hang in there, you may still have a full life time!
Second, a Story;
Not long ago (1999?), I met a guy named Joe who I term “a soul mate”. Joe was a motorcyclist. He and I both owned Kawasaki C 1000 Concours. Both he and I had just begun a second life interest in motorcycling after finding careers, raising our families, etc. We met on a Forum (COG) published ride. Living only 150 miles apart, it was not hard to get together for part of a day’s ride from either of our respective homes. We rode on Sundays. It was our day off work, out on our motorcycles, where we felt we were spending it with nature and with God.
Joe’s wife Chris and my wife Jan, became good friends, but Joe and I became soul mates. We were the same age. Joe has 1 ½ inch shorter on his right side due to a bought with polio when he was a child. That probably explained why he didn’t dive into right handers with as much gusto as left handers? He crashed a couple of times and had to get insurance help “once?” to restore his bike to working order. I crashed “once” also, but did mine on the cheap, by buying a parts bike and kluging the 2 together. During the time Joe and I knew each other (2000 to 2004), we swapped lies, parts, beer, travels, life experiences, and thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company on many rides together. We could speak about any subject not excluding religion or politics, and even though we would not always agree, it seemed we found a way to respect each other’s points of view.
Communicating together over the Internet, we had decided one blustery February weekend in 2004, to join a COG ride in the Malibu hills. A friend of ours named Linda, down in Simi Valley invited us to stay for an over nighter in order to join the COG ride through the Malibu canyons the next day. After awakening, then breakfast we mustered the riders together, and the tossing of bikes through twisty bits commenced. Great group ride, and a great lunch, we began our truck towards homes. Joe and I rode up to Ojai, then grabbed the 33 up and over the summit of Pine Mountain and reached 166 to witness a big storm brewing to the West. I would be heading west into that maelstrom, and it was a miserable ride to the coast. Joe and I parted company at the intersection of 33 and 166, we shook hands, and took off our separate ways. He headed north on I 5 to rendezvous with his family somewhere in the Sierras for a couple of days of holiday. It was to be our last parting of ways. We were doing what we loved to do. He passed of a heart attack the following weekend at his home in Gilroy, CA.
I was shocked to the bone, and at first, I couldn’t figure out why it bothered me so much? After all, I barely knew the man? He was just my motorcycle buddy but Hell, the ache of his absence became very real. Attended his funeral along with around 350 others including a contingent of his motorcycle buddies, and I was surprised to find out that he had had such a rich life with family, friends, community members, and everyone that knew Joe was there. His father a Presbyterian minister, presided over the ceremony, and invited many to say a few words of how they remembered Joe. I met friends who I still see from the reception.
Lastly,
No matter what happens to us after we pass on (we will ALL pass on someday), there is an amazing amount of memories left over. Those who were fortunate to have been touched by the presence of the passed individual are lucky. This is motorcycling legacy, which is greater than religion or family, and allows each of us to continue to live on in the minds of others who are like minded forever. I personally think that is a good thing.
This forum is a place where some of us (hopelessly?) hang out. Be sure Hans, your dilemma is troubling to us All. Also, be sure that our remedy to your dilemma is to go for a ride and ride it out. BTW, thanks for your profiling anthology of the Forum's "most posted" in Eureka last July at WFO.
Oh, and you can ride with us anytime you feel up to it.
Besides, we don't really care what your cardiologist thinks!