You're the kid in this joke, aren't you????:
Middle-school kid comes home from school, sits his mom down and confesses, "Mom, I had *** with my teacher today."
She gets all wacky in the head the way moms do when they can't confront real life, and tells him that they'll wait for Dad to get home before discussing it any further, and sends him to his room to do his homework.
Dad gets home, Mom tells him what the kid told her, and he goes up to the kid's room and asks about it.
Kid says, "Yeah, I know it's wrong, and the teacher can get in a lot of trouble for it, but I don't think it'll happen again. Still, it was really awesome to finally find out what the big deal was!"
The dad tells him that he's actually kind of proud of his boy, thinking back to his own school days and some of the teachers that were around, and tells him that at least for appearance's sake he has to be grounded for nearly forever, like a week, but when that's over he'd like to take the boy out and get him a bicycle.
The kid says, "That's great Dad! Cool! And I'm cool with being grounded a week, too. It'll probably be that long before my butt stops hurting."