Men

[MEM]

Which guy is it Barb?

OMG. I was going to comment but - once again - discretion prevailed. I'm getting to be pretty good at that - the 'discretion' thing, that is

ps - it was going to involve eyebrows, licking and "not a freaking chance, even IF ....." :bleh:

 

[Warchild]

ps - it was going to involve eyebrows, licking and "not a freaking chance, even IF ....." :bleh:

:lol: Fortunately you were able to hold back and be discrete...

 

[v65]

Back in the days when I was still in good enough shape to be a bouncer I played boyfriend for a lot of my female friends. Drove off more than a few of these types. There must be some big hulking Canucks about to do the job, and way less scary than exskibum's solution :blink:

 

[beemerdons]

Which guy is it Barb?

Ah Crapola, rushes! I never thought my "Looking For A Date" video would wind up here! So Barb, do you like to go bowling?

 

[Aasland]

Is it hope, stupidity, desperation or something I have yet to indentify that keeps y'all knocking at the door (email, txt, phn) even in the face of a clear "no, I am not interested".

On a more serious note .. instincts, training, and reinforcement.

Survival of the species is a strong instinct.

Society has trained us to be persistent and assume "no" means "playing hard to get". Just look at the romance movies where the guy eventually does get the girl interested in him and they live happily ever after.

These techniques work, so we try them again.

If we don't play by these rules, we're nice guys, and remain single until all the good girls are taken and left wondering why there aren't any good men around.

 

[Intech]

A girl once asked me, " Do you think with that thing?". I responded with, "Hell no! It thinks for me!".

I believe that really explains it all!

 

[user 213]

Society has trained us to be persistent and assume "no" means "playing hard to get".

Not so much society, that defers the blame. Women are responsible. Every woman that played games instead of just saying "NO, I don't find you attractive and don't want to go out with you."

There nothing wrong with saying no. Count the number of times you said something else to this guy, instead of a direct NO.

You don't have to lie about STDs or make up boyfriends, just tell him flat out that you don't find him attractive and are not interested in going out. He'll take it one of two ways, get pissed that you don't think he's a 'stud' or 'good catch', or man up and accept that you just don't connect on a level worth pursuing.

 

[Intech]

Society has trained us to be persistent and assume "no" means "playing hard to get".

Not so much society, that defers the blame. Women are responsible. Every woman that played games instead of just saying "NO, I don't find you attractive and don't want to go out with you."

There nothing wrong with saying no. Count the number of times you said something else to this guy, instead of a direct NO.

You don't have to lie about STDs or make up boyfriends, just tell him flat out that you don't find him attractive and are not interested in going out. He'll take it one of two ways, get pissed that you don't think he's a 'stud' or 'good catch', or man up and accept that you just don't connect on a level worth pursuing.

Then, of course, there is always the reatraining order.

 

[Patriot]

OK, am after some honest input here...
Is it hope, stupidity, desperation or something I have yet to indentify that keeps y'all knocking at the door (email, txt, phn) even in the face of a clear "no, I am not interested".

How many times does one need to slam the door in some guys' face til they stop trying to wedge a big toe in said door?

curious in canada :blink:

[SIZE=8pt]that, or it could be the fact he rides a Harley, no wait.....2. Hhhhmmmm[/SIZE]

it's no excuse on his part, but IMHO, per your facebook profile pics (I didn't know if you would object to me posting one or two, so I didn't), you really are a very attractive lady.

he does need a firm attitude change by some intensified motivator, that's fa sure

 

[MEM]

Society has trained us to be persistent and assume "no" means "playing hard to get".

Not so much society, that defers the blame. Women are responsible, TOO. Every woman that played games instead of just saying "NO, I don't find you attractive and don't want to go out with you." And, don't get me wrong. Men play games, too.

There nothing wrong with saying no. Count the number of times you said something else to this guy, instead of a direct NO. Perhaps you've already done this - several times - and the guy just does not "GET IT"

You don't have to lie about STDs or make up boyfriends, just tell him flat out that you don't find him attractive and are not interested in going out. He'll take it one of two ways, get pissed that you don't think he's a 'stud' or 'good catch', or man up and accept that you just don't connect on a level worth pursuing.

I fixed this for you, OCfjr. Sorry, I wasn't going to bite on this but my 'discretion button' is temporarily out of order. I know you mean well

 

[exskibum]

Society has trained us to be persistent and assume "no" means "playing hard to get".

Not so much society, that defers the blame. Women are responsible, TOO. Every woman that played games instead of just saying "NO, I don't find you attractive and don't want to go out with you." And, don't get me wrong. Men play games, too.

There nothing wrong with saying no. Count the number of times you said something else to this guy, instead of a direct NO. Perhaps you've already done this - several times - and the guy just does not "GET IT"

You don't have to lie about STDs or make up boyfriends, just tell him flat out that you don't find him attractive and are not interested in going out. He'll take it one of two ways, get pissed that you don't think he's a 'stud' or 'good catch', or man up and accept that you just don't connect on a level worth pursuing.

I fixed this for you, OCfjr. Sorry, I wasn't going to bite on this but my 'discretion button' is temporarily out of order. I know you mean well

Ya see, Mary Ellen, THAT is EGGZZACTLY why I posted my method -- show him UP FRONT the type of nightmare relationship that too many men have run screaming from (but Barb is too nice to know about or to practice). Even the densest male will get that. Heck, it's the stuff of horror legend and hushed bar conversations amongst men.

I mean, you need proof?? Then read OM's response, and beemerdon's and WCs, and Braenan's. OK, so the last three are just piling on, but I've given you an OM repellent, ferchrisakes!! Need I remind you that we've seen numerous pics of OM molesting stuffed bears, deer, sheep and all manner of fauna (flora anyone??), thus defining a man who just doesn't understand "NO" and "NOT INTERESTED"!! So ignore my advice. But note that it scared OM right off the thread and the site. :lol: :lol:

 

[user 213]

I fixed this for you, OCfjr. Sorry, I wasn't going to bite on this but my 'discretion button' is temporarily out of order. I know you mean well

Your additions are worthy Mary Ellen.

I will add, I'm not on FB so I can't see what you have posted there. However, be very careful how you present yourself on the Web. People tend to believe you're seeking companions if you work hard to present yourself as a 'catch' on your personal profiles, etc.

As an aside, you could always call his Mom and ask them to have a word with him.

 

[kolonial72]

Shotgun, anyone? Just be willing to use it.

 

[Duezzer]

One big problem with break ups and what make them take so long is:

When the breaker tells the breaky - "It's not that your a bad (guy/girl)" the door in the phyco's head opens and says - "He/She likes me if I just stick around all will be good"

I guess a blunt quick and cold "I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU AND I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY LIFE" works well.

Say it and get gone.

No more chitt chatt

Don't second guess and don't give them a chance for a reply

Don't get sucked into a conversation -

Good Luck

 

[beemerdons]

Barb, I'm putting on my serious face for a minute, which does not happen very often. After viewing what Miss Mary Ellen has posted regarding the multiple times you have told this individual NO, I'm now in agreement with Intech regarding Issuance of a Restraining Order. MEM just happens to know my own personal situation with an Autistic Son and my being a Volunteer Counselor with Arizona Autism Parent's Society; I had to advise and assist a young Mom with a special needs Son like mine to seek out and obtain a Maricopa County, AZ Restraining Order back in 2008. Does now sound like this cretin has crossed the line way too many times. exskibum may well be right in his approach, but this lout may need much, much more persuasion!

 

[Bungie]

https://www.plentyoffish.com/ :lol:

Man, am I ever glad I took my profile down a while back LOL!

 

[exskibum]

Don't know the real situation, and wouldn't want to spread it publicly, but to be completely serious, Duezzer is dead right in post #53, unless the situation is as bad as Don suggests in post #54, in which case, I'd agree with his remedies. Do NOT put yourself in a dangerous or vulnerable position with a guy who has a screw loose. Large LEO friends can be VERY good help and comfort in those situations.

 

[beemerdons]

Very well said, exskibum! Only Barb knows what will work best with this guy and she is definitely super intelligent enough to make that call. If he can be reasoned with and possesses the gray matter to understand it, then Duezzer's approach will work. This is naturally a field call that only Barb can make.

But Barb, if you feel that this harasser has a screw loose like exskibum says, then do not hesitate pursuing a Restraining Order. As you know, I am good friends with my AZ Beemers Club Member and Friend: Retired RCMP Regional Officer David Ashbaugh. I speak to David on a regular basis and he lives just a few kilometers from your home. As exskibum has well advised, do not state publicly any information about this guy that will put you in a dangerous or vulnerable position. If you want Officer Ashbaugh's involvement, just PM and I will have David give you a call. He is back in Black River, BC right now!

 

[cometman]

OK, am after some honest input here...
Is it hope, stupidity, desperation or something I have yet to indentify that keeps y'all knocking at the door (email, txt, phn) even in the face of a clear "no, I am not interested".

How many times does one need to slam the door in some guys' face til they stop trying to wedge a big toe in said door?

curious in canada :blink:

[SIZE=8pt]that, or it could be the fact he rides a Harley, no wait.....2. Hhhhmmmm[/SIZE]

"Is it hope, stupidity, desperation or something I have yet to indentify "

Yes, we are despertedly stupid in our ever lasting hope of finding the right woman to be with for the rest of ours and to share and laugh through the good times and have someone to stand by us and hold our hand when things get tough.

But I could be wrong.........

I would go with Beemerdons suggestion myself......

 

[SnowAviation]

Barb,

Beemerdons suggestion is sound however if you follow it and it does not work then it's

quite possible that the strong arm method may work.

Several years ago a girl I worked with was living with a guy who was abusive. It was an

ongoing story and she was getting scared. So one day while he was on a trip a few of us

went to her house and gathered up all his stuff, then when he returned, instead of her

meeting him at the airport as arranged, two of the guys went there and picked him up.

They had all his stuff in the truck and they told him that they would take him anywhere

he wanted to go but not back to her place. Also they told him that if he ever went back

to her house again then they (us) would find him and beat him to a bloody pulp.

He was no longer a problem.

Perhaps you could arrange a "group ride" of several of your larger and tougher friends

to visit this guy. It sounds extreme, but lots of guys in the face of mortal danger will

get really scared and back off. These guys like to play tough guy around women but when

they realize you have male friends who are willing to whoop their ass to protect you, things

change.

I know you can find some local riders willing to help you if it comes to that.